by Olegario Ambriz, San Quentin State Prison, CA I had to go back to my childhood and reflect on my past traumas. I had to get in touch with my inner child, writing a letter to the hurt and lonely child within me. Letting him know I was there for him and not to be afraid because I was there to protect him from anybody that tried to harm him in any way, shape or form. I learned that every time my inner child acted up, I did something wrong by committing a crime. That was how my inner child
Continue ReadingFifty Years With Two Life Sentences
by Jorge Lopez, San Quentin State Prison, CA Hello, my name or where I’m from aren’t important. Today, I am serving a sentence of fifty years with two life sentences for a first-degree murder with enhancements (extra time). Sadly, I am identified by a set of numbers. I have been stripped of my name and freedom because of the bad choices I made almost seventeen years ago. At that time, I had turned eighteen years old and like all of us behind prison walls, I lacked a positive role model. I just had a desire to be accepted by my
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Volume 28.39/40
Please contact Lisa Lavaysse if you would like to purchase the full PDF or a printed copy of this issue.
Continue ReadingEd Note 28.39/40
Hello Beat readers and writers, far and wide! Welcome back to another double-issue of The Beat Within, 28.39/40. We’re always so inspired by each and every one of the pieces we publish, and the writing here is no exception. For this issue’s editorial note, we turn it over to Omar Turcios, to talk about what it means to fight the good fight. Omar, take it away! It’s OT, reporting live from Managua, Nicaragua, from the land the quakes, shakes, and under this hot sun we all get baked! I want to extend a warm embrace to all of our
Continue ReadingInfluencing the Young
by Damian, Santa Cruz I have a lot of fun memories of me growing up, playing sports at school and just being with friends. Right now, I try to look back on the good memories. For example, I like to think about my basketball/football seasons, every time I spend with my family over the years, good and bad. One memory that gets to me is when I was younger, about six to eight. I had an uncle who was incarcerated. He was about twenty-eight. I remember so perfectly one day my mom got a phone call from him while he
Continue ReadingSaying “No”
by Joshli, San Mateo There was a time not so long ago where I had a group of friends. This particular group of friends happened to be boys. There was a time when I was hanging out with them and my other girlfriend. We were drinking and smoking in this friend group. There was a boy that liked me but I could only see him as a friend. This boy made it clear to me that he had other feelings for me and would flirt with me and try to get my attention as a typical teenage boy my age
Continue ReadingTomorrow’s Not Promised
by Unique Bishop, CCWF in Chowchilla, CA I remember when my boyfriend Lee B was shot, we were having problems in our relationship. He started cheating on me. I started cheating on him, and I started wanting to let go of this relationship but I couldn’t because I loved him so much. But I was too afraid to let him know or even show it because I wanted to prove to him he wasn’t hurting me. I was young and all my young life I lived with so much pride and wanted to be everything but me, because I was
Continue ReadingFrom Prison Hell to Penitentiary Heaven
by L. Edward Mays, California State Prison, Los Angeles in Lancaster, CA Racial segregation, routine violence, and controlled chaos filled my sleep, nightmares and sweat. This is the legacy that a correctional facility left me with after I transferred to the historical penal site, leaving the “cushy” San Mateo County Jail behind in 2006. “Fear” is the one word I could use to describe my emotional state during my time. Everything about the prison scared me: the physical structure, the guards, and the other inmates. The physical structure was large and intimidating. The corridors were narrow, and many people had
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Volume 28.37/38
Please contact Lisa Lavaysse if you would like to purchase the full PDF or a printed copy of this issue.
Continue ReadingEd Note 28.37/38
Welcome, readers and writers of The Beat Within! We’re back with another double-issue featuring your recent reflections, testimonies, and opinions on our weekly topics. You also may notice that this issue contains writing from earlier this summer, before we took a break from programming and publication to grieve the loss of our founder, David Inocencio. If you’ve been waiting to see your piece published, please know that it’s not lost! We’re working hard to make sure that we publish everything we received in June and July, and are aiming to get caught up to speed within the next couple issues.
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