Category: The Beat Without

by Donald Thompson, San Quentin State Prison, CA Love means different things to different people, but in the end, I believe that love is love.  I have people in my life who love me, and whom I love.  Their love for me makes all of the difference in the world. I feel loved even if it’s just their words to me “I love you” because so much of my life I didn’t feel loved even when there were those who would tell me they loved me, their words were void of meaning because there was no action behind the words. 

by Dortell Williams, Chuckawalla Valley State Prison in Blythe, CA Beliefs equal attitudes, and attitudes equal behaviors. I learned this concept about fifteen years ago in a prison self-help class taught by peers — for us, by us. What does that mean on the ground? It means that when my father repeatedly called me stupid, I believed him. In hindsight, I was only doing what young, curious boys do when exploring their world, and making mistakes. The name calling gave me a low self-esteem. Low self-confidence is a common contributing factor to imprisonment. I didn’t believe in myself, so I

by Wendy Fong, Central California Women’s Facility Being the product of an interracial marriage and broken home, my whole life has been a journey in which I’ve had to prove myself. My Asian culture required me to fulfill unrealistic expectations from a young age. These expectations were intended to push me so that I would be successful in life. There was no malice behind the demands. When I left my dad’s home and moved in with my mom, my whole world changed. Suddenly, I found I had to prove myself for other reasons. Since my mom was deep in her

I should’ve listened to my Aunt Toni. I remember one night we were all hangin’ out over my sister’s house. We had to be in full party mode at this time. My aunt had come back to Cali from Las Vegas. She came over to our party.  I don’t know how she knew what we were doing at the time but we used to do a lot of robberies and she wasn’t being confrontational in her approach but she begged us to stop what we were doing. She reminded me that I had a car and my own place. She

by Francisco “Frank” Gonzalez, RJ Donovan in San Diego, CA Folks, as I sit here listening to the country song “Heaven,” by Kane Brown, thousands of memories come rushing to me, all of it coupled with the holiday season. Wow! It’s a doozey folks! You cannot make this stuff up or find it on Netflix. This my friends is life! As I reiterate this, I guarantee you all that my title as a jail house lawyer and prisoner’s right activist is a legit as part of my transformation and redemption. It’s in every sense my forte. As I take you

by Harry Goodall,  Jr., San Quentin State Prison, CA There have been many things I have done wrong in my life and there are some things that I done due to peer pressure. However there are other things I did in life just out of being hurt and wanting to hurt other people. So let’s take a trip down a road of a vicious cycle I created by a mistake I made. For a few reasons I dropped out of school. It wasn’t that I had bad grades or didn’t enjoy any of the studying. It was just that I

by Jennifer Bissell, Central California Women’s Facility, Chowchilla, CA I believe a good deed can be anything big or small just as long as it’s a selfless act of kindness or like a pay it forward notion to another person, especially a stranger.  I remember a time when I was pregnant and actually in labor and there was a car accident on the way to the hospital, and rather than drive on by and just call 911 to help the people that looked like they really needed the help, I asked my husband to stop so we could personally help

by Jaimi Roberts, Central California Women’s Facility I’d like to think I have the bad habit of all bad habits!!! Lack of thought control…and misplacing them with my feelings. Without a healthy strong belief system this is where everything gets hairy! Yikes! This bad habit of entertaining random or ruminating thoughts has been my ultimate set up: I’ve lost family over it, engaged in both criminal, homicidal and addictive activities. I had never given myself the chance to live presently, being all consumed with a cumulation of unresolved past baggage, a lot of it was not even my own, but

by Jon D. Goldberg, San Quentin State Prison, CA The first time I told a non-family member I love you was to my first girlfriend that I thought was serious. Young love in the sixth grade. Her name was the Tina Foss. I will never forget her.  Now that I am grown I realize I didn’t know love outside my family until I met my ex-wife. It was truly love at first sight. To find love is exhilarating, life changing and awesome. When you feel compelled to say it, it comes easy.  When I first said it I was young

by KC The Dreaded Poet, California Men’s Colony State Prison, San Luis Obispo, CA I am aware of my place, I put me where they could seeThose that hate me I helped plot on meI was engaged in activities the opposite of preventing clashesBetween the cops and meAin’t no stoppin’ me was the prevailing thoughtUntil my unhealthy desires allowed me to get caughtAn onslaught of valid charges and true accusationsLed to a barrage of guilty verdicts and consecutive terms of incarcerationMy revelation, came when a man with a name I didn’t knowEnded my life with a sentenceLife888 months to serveLife