Category: The Beat Without

by Jaime Lopez Hello, my name is Jamie Jezzuel Lopez. I was born in Uruapan, Michoacan, Mexico. I immigrated to the United States in 1999 when I was seventeen years old. I left my mother, older sister and younger brother looking for a better future. My single mother worked everyday, but the money she earned was not enough. We were poor. My first job in the United States was gardening in an apartment complex. I later worked in maintenance. The satisfaction of being able to help my family was great. However, my education and school was always on my mind.

by Chad “Get Right” Fitzpatrick, Correctional Facility in Oak Park Heights, Minnesota What do you think of when you hear the word, “Pandemic?” I bet the first thing that comes to mind is COVID. Right? But what about hopelessness? Does that even cross anyone’s mind when they hear the word, “Pandemic?” Probably not, why? Because people don’t see hopelessness or if they do they don’t care or even just don’t know how to treat it and slow it down like we did for COVID. Have you ever felt hopeless about something to some degree or another? I sure have, even

by Efren Bullard, Ironwood State Prison in Blythe, CA I know it’s been a while since my last letter, but I’ve been hard at work trying to regain my freedom. The court has granted me an attorney under 1170.95 for resentencing and so far, I’ve had three court dates and the next court date is this month May 18th, 2023. As I pray for everyone at The Beat Within and all the incarcerated youth, please do the same for me. We are on the Step #10 of CGA: “We continued daily to take personal inventory of ourselves, and whenever wrong,

by Chaser, San Quentin State Prison, CA I don’t know if I have a best family memory but I have a lot of good ones. One memory that I look back on and smile is when we went to the Santa Clara County Fair. We were living in a small one bedroom house near Downtown San Jose. We didn’t have a lot of excess money at the time or even a car. I think my Dad won the tickets to the fair from a contest on the radio, either way, we got the tickets for free.  So we woke up

by Hugo Arredondo Ortiz, San Quentin State Prison, CA The days I miss the most are those when I was happy watching my brother kick a soccer call. Helping my sister with her homework, and my familia on holidays with the music so loud our neighbors are with us until midnight because they’re downing a fresh beer with their tacos.  However, the days I miss the most are watching my family (my son, my daughter) open their birthday and Christmas gifts. Those were the most surreal for me. There I was, wondering how/when did this happen. Seeing their smiles for

by Patrick Demery, San Quentin State Prison, CA Doubts have always been that obstacle with which I have struggled against the most. Sometimes I think they have stopped me from even attempting to succeed.  What’s that saying?  “You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”?  My doubts are those things that have kept me anchored and tied to the pier of life. Don’t get me wrong. My life has been a strange and adventurous journey, but I can only imagine what it could have been had I only conquered my doubts

by Donald Thompson, San Quentin State Prison, CA Love means different things to different people, but in the end, I believe that love is love.  I have people in my life who love me, and whom I love.  Their love for me makes all of the difference in the world. I feel loved even if it’s just their words to me “I love you” because so much of my life I didn’t feel loved even when there were those who would tell me they loved me, their words were void of meaning because there was no action behind the words. 

by Dortell Williams, Chuckawalla Valley State Prison in Blythe, CA Beliefs equal attitudes, and attitudes equal behaviors. I learned this concept about fifteen years ago in a prison self-help class taught by peers — for us, by us. What does that mean on the ground? It means that when my father repeatedly called me stupid, I believed him. In hindsight, I was only doing what young, curious boys do when exploring their world, and making mistakes. The name calling gave me a low self-esteem. Low self-confidence is a common contributing factor to imprisonment. I didn’t believe in myself, so I

by Wendy Fong, Central California Women’s Facility Being the product of an interracial marriage and broken home, my whole life has been a journey in which I’ve had to prove myself. My Asian culture required me to fulfill unrealistic expectations from a young age. These expectations were intended to push me so that I would be successful in life. There was no malice behind the demands. When I left my dad’s home and moved in with my mom, my whole world changed. Suddenly, I found I had to prove myself for other reasons. Since my mom was deep in her

I should’ve listened to my Aunt Toni. I remember one night we were all hangin’ out over my sister’s house. We had to be in full party mode at this time. My aunt had come back to Cali from Las Vegas. She came over to our party.  I don’t know how she knew what we were doing at the time but we used to do a lot of robberies and she wasn’t being confrontational in her approach but she begged us to stop what we were doing. She reminded me that I had a car and my own place. She