Category: The Beat Without

by Angela Zuniga, CCWF in Chowchilla, CA What weighs me down is my haters. Not them personally but their words and beliefs of me. I become so mentally exhausted when I allow their thoughts to become my thoughts. Words are powerful, but going forward I refuse to allow the negativity to consume me.  I am beautiful, strong, and smart. I believe in myself and have plenty of people that believe the best of me. Instead of focusing on the few haters, I’ma let them hate. I allow my words, my beliefs, and the thoughts of my friends and support system

by Olegario Ambriz, San Quentin State Prison, CA I had to go back to my childhood and reflect on my past traumas. I had to get in touch with my inner child, writing a letter to the hurt and lonely child within me. Letting him know I was there for him and not to be afraid because I was there to protect him from anybody that tried to harm him in any way, shape or form.  I learned that every time my inner child acted up, I did something wrong by committing a crime. That was how my inner child

by Jorge Lopez, San Quentin State Prison, CA Hello, my name or where I’m from aren’t important. Today, I am serving a sentence of fifty years with two life sentences for a first-degree murder with enhancements (extra time). Sadly, I am identified by a set of numbers.  I have been stripped of my name and freedom because of the bad choices I made almost seventeen years ago. At that time, I had turned eighteen years old and like all of us behind prison walls, I lacked a positive role model. I just had a desire to be accepted by my

by Unique Bishop, CCWF in Chowchilla, CA I remember when my boyfriend Lee B was shot, we were having problems in our relationship. He started cheating on me. I started cheating on him, and I started wanting to let go of this relationship but I couldn’t because I loved him so much. But I was too afraid to let him know or even show it because I wanted to prove to him he wasn’t hurting me.  I was young and all my young life I lived with so much pride and wanted to be everything but me, because I was

by L. Edward Mays, California State Prison, Los Angeles in Lancaster, CA Racial segregation, routine violence, and controlled chaos filled my sleep, nightmares and sweat. This is the legacy that a correctional facility left me with after I transferred to the historical penal site, leaving the “cushy” San Mateo County Jail behind in 2006. “Fear” is the one word I could use to describe my emotional state during my time.  Everything about the prison scared me: the physical structure, the guards, and the other inmates. The physical structure was large and intimidating. The corridors were narrow, and many people had

by Keith Erickson, Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga, CA Last night I called my wife, something I do each and every night before we both turn in for the evening and we went through our extensive prayer list. Just five minutes later while checking the messages on the contact’s list of my inmate issued tablet, I was alarmed by a message left from my wife to call home again, as it was urgent.  I listened to the words of my wife as she cried, “Please sit down, Keith,” and her words pierced right through me as she read the

by Raymond White, Corcoran State Prison in Corcoran, CA The flow of blood has no weightBut contains distilled and rich measureThat streams warm like one hundredRivers of eternity; just think of theBlue sky more higher than the Eiffel TowerIn Paris, more elevated than wingsOf countless flocks of birds heavenlyDistance by flight travelThat drifts along white clouds beyondThe human eyes distinction, I can onlySpeak for what pure nature I trulyFeel and see past hundred mile coveredFresh grass fields, or wolves and deerRunning content across the soiled dirtIn rain forest all these beautiful thingsIn clear sights of journies I haveLived by experience,

by Chase To me, being the best I can means showing I’ve been in really difficult situations. Anyone can say they would do this or that in a difficult situation, but it’s another thing to follow through with it and have your actions match your words.  No matter how hard it gets when I was younger I would always have these beliefs about the world and who I was, but a lot of times I never had to put those beliefs to the test. And when I did, I had a different outlook on the situation, myself, and others that

by Nelson Vega I have become more and more passionate about money in the most recent months. I’m not certain if it’s because I don’t have it right now per se, or that it provides many options.  Options symbolize freedom to me. It’s not the love of money. It’s what money can do for a person, organization, family, friends, and so forth. Money can be made in so many ways, and in so many different forms. My passion or obsession is about how money works. All areas of how it works and how it’s provided.  I’m looking at multiple streams

by Kenny York, San Quentin State Prison, CA When I was your age I never thought I would be in prison with a life sentence for murder. I have been in prison for fifteen years now and let me tell you it sucks. It was just going to be a quick robbery, fast and easy, in and out, nobody gets hurt. Just like in the movies I watched or the rap songs I listen to. The attempted robbery quickly turned into a murder though. This is an example of the inherent risk/danger that is always present when you are committing