Category: The Beat Without

by Thomas Weed It’s me, Thomas Weed, once known as Confusing Mind so many years ago when I had the opportunity to participate in workshops ran by Matt and Michael. Now, over a decade later I find myself serving a seven year 8-month sentence because well, I guess I still hadn’t learned my lesson. Having touched each and every part of the criminal justice system, I’ve seen first-hand how broken it really is. From Juvie to Group homes, to County  programs to Prison. Entire novels have been penned by far greater minds than mine, mapping out the school to the prison

by Russ  Once upon a time, I wanted to be just like my dad. He was an outlaw, a tough guy, and was “running things.” When I was nine years old Dad was killed. He had been out of prison for exactly forty-two hours. Two days before he was released, I was removed from the only home I’d ever known, Grandma’s. Turns out my mother had regained custody of my sister and me. I was driven five-hundred miles north and delivered to my mother, who I hardly knew at all. Over the next two months I was notified of not just

By Cristian Bost I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart by getting my message out there. When you guys sent me the November publication of The Beat Within with my short message, it made my day.  The majority of these kids are going through the same thing I went through as a child, from feeling abandoned, to feeling nobody cared about me and that I had nothing to lose, but that is why they need to know people do care about them. I am sending you this drawing I did to show my appreciation for

by Harry Goodall The main thing I want to do is be a dad. I have two kids, but have missed all of their lives because of a prison sentence. I feel that just because I helped in the creation of my kids does not make me a dad.  I’m just a donor. It’s other scenarios that had complicated me being involved in their lives, but I have had to learn to live with that.  If I didn’t place myself in prison maybe the restrictions wouldn’t be there. After all, you’re not placed in prison because you’re a good guy. As a result of

by Keith Erickson The scars of my childhood are the very parts of me that so many men like me, incarcerated men, want to keep locked away from the rest of the world around them. The Alternatives to Violence Project Workshops bring out the courage in men that you would never expect to witness within a prison. This weekend was like a whirlwind of emotions and laughter that left many of us crying, yet with the realization that our personal afflictions are so much bigger than just ourselves—they also belong to so many others within and outside of these granite walls.

by Christian Bost What I’m about to tell you is not a story, but rather a reality of my life. The reality is that I was seventeen years old, tried as an adult, and fighting for my life, praying to God that I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life in prison for murder. I grew up in the streets of Los Angeles, CA. I was raised in a household with just my mom and four brothers. My dad wasn’t around because, when I was just three years old, while he was locked up in his cell, his cellie

by Brandon Martinez Looking back over this ole life, a young buck adolescent, sitting there in front of a judge quite perplexed of my hearing being conducted for emancipation, often throughout the proceedings I was a bit baffled. As a teen, I lacked the intellectual ability to comprehend the magnitude for his decision to be rendered. Although factors were taken into account by the judge at his discretion, perhaps I should have provided some input, certainly the task was exclusively delegated to him, with such an imperative crucial decision at stake. To not object by advocating on my own volition was

by Ernesto Rodriguez I wanted to take the time to write to you about the importance of relationships. You see, relationships do not only mean the kind we have with an intimate special someone, but the kind of relationships that pick you back up in life when you fall. You see, in life, we have the illusion that the friendships we build with homeboys or the homegirls are everything. We believe that if we are accepted and build up our reputation in our hood, in our street, that somehow it will erase or blot out the heavy and painful things

by Son Nguyen I like the saying, “Broken Crayon Still Colors,” because it could help us see things from a more positive perspective, especially during difficult times. Being locked up no matter where we are at, whether it is in juvenile hall, jail or prison, it is easy to get discouraged. We are stuck behind concrete walls, while the world on the other-side carries on without us. We have been banished from the rest of society. People who we were once close to start to forget about us, while others have turned their backs on us. Confinement often causes people to

Angelo J. Vasquez I’m writing you from prison like l always.  I’ve been here since I was sixteen years old and I’m twenty-seven now.  It’s truly amazing that I’m not dead.  My life wasn’t ruined when my mother and father got a divorce when I as five years old.  No that just meant more presents and two bedrooms.  It was when I first began to smoke weed.  When I was a nine-year-old boy I began to smoke rock, meth and PCP.  I couldn’t be sober once I started.  I began to steal from my family, anything of value was going