Category: The Beat Without

by Thomas Sheen Dear Beat Within Readers, Deciding to change is not simple, but it’s something I knew I needed. At a certain point in my life, life seemed so empty and void of happiness that I doubted as to whether there was any hope for me of ever experiencing happiness again. To me it was obvious that something had to change.  My initial thoughts were, “If only I were not locked up,” “If only I had a job,” “If only I could see my family.” I knew these things could add to my happiness, but they didn’t necessarily produce

by Joseph Weathington Dear Dad,  I was really sad, hurt, and disappointed in you for not having being a father to and for me when I needed one the most.  I don’t know if you were capable of being a father, and by father, I mean being there emotionally, being supportive, encouraging, guiding, loving, and all the rest that goes with being a dad.  I’d like to think that you are sad about it as well.  I thought something was wrong with me because of your leaving and abandonment.  I took it upon myself to blame myself for your terrible inadequacies. 

by Jesus Cortez Growing up my relationship with my father was what a relationship was supposed to be between a father and a son. I felt safe, accepted, loved, and important. I felt this up until he left which was when I was 5 years old. From that point on I had no relationship with him until he returned when I was 8. In his absence, I really did miss him, and needed him in my life. I remember my family and I lived in some apartments right across the street from Highway 99 in McFarland, CA.  I would regularly

by Raymond Goins Hello young men and women. My name is Raymond Goins and I have spent more time in a cell than each one of you have spent alive on earth. I am currently serving a 28 year sentence because I believed that all I was was a badass, all I ever would be is a failure, and that I was destined to land here in prison.  I would like to take this opportunity to speak to you and tell you a bit about myself. However, before I do, please allow me to share with you another story. It

by Alexis A. Pamiroyan When I was a teenager, I looked in the mirror with no sense of direction. I wanted to be somebody? Young minded, I didn’t know who I wanted to be? So, I chose to follow and be like the rest. No father figure, one potential (father figure) but I didn’t give him a chance. A role model? If you asked me what that was, I’d tell you Robert De Niro in the gangster movie, “Goodfellas.”   Following others who were misguided, I became one of the homies. This took me down a path of criminality that

by Corey J. Elder I believe that prison can take many forms. One form of a prison is the issue of homelessness. Homelessness is a prison because it “locks up” human potential and creativity. And as a result the family, the community, and the society suffers. Many of those homeless are women and children. And to have women and children homeless is a tragedy that we may never recover from. Homelessness is crippling and debilitating. It demeans and devalues the human spirit. It oppresses ones hopes and dreams. And the longer one is homeless, the more damaging the results. We

by  Osbun Walton It was an early morning, uncommonly quiet, and with no movement because of a fog alert, yet people were going to different places, to work, to the yard or day room to play cards and chess. My cellie went on a visit. After my usual routine of cleaning up the cell, I had nothing else to do but relax, because I got my homework and letter writing finished last night.  My brother Timothy’s fifty-dollar JPAY to me was still sitting erect against the wall, middle ways on my bunk, which I received three day ago. A JPAY

by Roberto Figueroa  I write to you with pain in my heart, realizing that you walk the same path I once did. I write these words from Ironwood State Prison with a life sentence of 50 to life. I thought to myself how can I do my part to help someone in need? Not just someone, but a young person who has a promising future ahead of them, you are the future. So make it count.  From a young age I was influenced by my environment. It felt like choices were made for me, but here’s the reality, I made

by Derek Romero I used to be asked, “What I wanted to be growing up?” I didn’t know how to answer this truthfully. I had no notion or ideals of what was expected of me, like becoming someone with a religious background, which I strongly disagreed with. Me, a priest! Yeah, when pigs fly! I had perceptions and projections directed toward me at an early age to become the things my parents wanted me to be or do with my life.  They would say things such as they knew that I was smart, maybe smarter than my sister, and that

by Bobby Bostic Justice sounds fair. It is a good concept. It is a great word, but hundreds of thousands of prisoners such as myself wonder when will we ever find justice. Why does this word allude us? Why doesn’t the Constitution apply to us? All of the so-called “just” laws on the books sound good in theory but we keep seeking justice but she seems to escape our grasp.  The only people that we see getting even a little justice is those who are wealthy or have family connections. The vast majority of us feel like we will never