Category: The Beat Without

by Jesse Ayers, San Quentin State Prison in San Quentin, CA “You can’t always get what you want. But if yozzzzzzzu try sometimes, you just might find…You get what you need.” (Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones) for me it’s not that poetic. Kick rocks bro (The lady who rejected me). I know I am cute and funny. Some might say hilarious and handsome. I do my best. But there comes a time when you meet a woman and she laughs at all your jokes, I mean even the corny ones when there are moments where she is patient and

by Mesro Coles El, San Quentin State Prison in San Quentin, CA Being accepted is the greatest feeling in the world. It is my firm belief that so many people end up locked up because they want acceptance from their parents acceptance from their peers, and acceptance from themselves. As social creatures, we humans seek togetherness, acceptance and sometimes we change our outward appearance and beliefs just to “fit in” with a crowd. This usually leads to bad behavior, crime, and a rejection of their lives to accept the views of people that hate them or that do not know

by Angel Ruelas, Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga, CA Playing sports has always been my identity. I remember running home from elementary school, just so I could get ready for my little league baseball games. I played all sports, from baseball, football, soccer, wrestling to even being on a swim team called Soledad Sharks. I just enjoyed wearing all of the uniforms and feeling like I was a part of something that was much bigger than me alone. I recall when playing football back then that I would put on my cleats and a rush of excitement would start

by Ernesto Alvarez, Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga, CA How many second chances do we get in life? I have laid here in my prison cell thinking about that many times. I am not just talking about second chances in life after you have done something that completely derailed the course of your life, like taking your freedom, but even the second chance in life that may seem so irrelevant at the time like going back and finishing school. Second chances are what make life worth living because it is what drives us to become better people if we

by Floyd D. Collins, San Quentin State Prison I am humbled to be able to share life lessons and my experience through writing. In my lifetime I have suffered as well as endured rejection. What I’ve found to be very important is how I’ve reacted or responded when rejected. My life of crime is grounded on being rejected. I was a young man when my ex-girlfriend had an affair with a very close friend. I couldn’t comprehend why the two of them would hurt me in such a way. Back then I had zero coping mechanisms to deal with the

by Brotha Dee, San Quentin State Prison in San Quentin, CA Hello friends it’s your partner Brotha Dee. I pray that all is well with you and your families as you read on. I know that today is the day to spit fire at the corruption in power, however this day I’m going to sip on some cool water and give props where props are due. The Beat Within, Brotha Dee would like to say, Thank You! What for Brotha Dee? Huh, I’m glad you asked. Thank you for being a friend who over 24 years ago create a consistent

by Mesro Coles El, San Quentin State Prison in San Quentin, CA When I hear the phrase “eye on the prize” I think about staying focused on goals. My primary goal now is parole. There are lots of things that keep us away from our goals, including ourselves. I know I have kept myself from my goals repeatedly by behaving in a way that was averse to my goal. Beware of these behaviors! I believe my greatest obstacle is me. I have no harsher critic than myself. I have been the one to tell me I am not worth the

by Dortell Williams  With this ethical will, the most important concept I wish to share with the world is that of empathy. Through lived experience, I was extremely apathetic, greedy, and selfish man. Today, more than any other time in my memory, segments of the world, in politics, in corporate settings, and in general society, are mirroring my previous venomous values. Here of late, society seems to be driven deeper and more frequently by conflict, contention and anger. This trio of character liabilities undergirds the worst decision I ever made in my life. A decision I deeply regret ’til this

by Binh Nguyen, California State Prison, Solano in Vacaville, CA After many years of using drugs and committing crimes to avoid dealing with my problems, I’ve had enough. I wasn’t satisfied with the way my life was going. I was tired of living a criminal lifestyle. I was a prisoner in my own distorted thoughts and desperately needed to free myself. CHANGE was a matter of life or death for me. I chose LIFE. Today, I have been clean and sober for three years and seven months. I am living a life in recovery by applying the 12-steps into my

by Christopher Walton, Santa Rosa Correctional Institution in Milton, Florida The first and only time I ever coached baseball happened as a fluke. I went to sign my step son up to play T-Ball at the Tampa Heights baseball complex. While I was in the office, the commissioner of the league, Monty Bostick, asked if I was interested in coaching one of the teams. At the time my schedule was pretty hectic so I initially declined the opportunity right away and went ahead and I said no.   A guy walked into the office, smelling as if he’d just finished