Category: The Beat Without

by Ernesto Alvarez, Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga, CA How many second chances do we get in life? I have laid here in my prison cell thinking about that many times. I am not just talking about second chances in life after you have done something that completely derailed the course of your life, like taking your freedom, but even the second chance in life that may seem so irrelevant at the time like going back and finishing school. Second chances are what make life worth living because it is what drives us to become better people if we

by Floyd D. Collins, San Quentin State Prison I am humbled to be able to share life lessons and my experience through writing. In my lifetime I have suffered as well as endured rejection. What I’ve found to be very important is how I’ve reacted or responded when rejected. My life of crime is grounded on being rejected. I was a young man when my ex-girlfriend had an affair with a very close friend. I couldn’t comprehend why the two of them would hurt me in such a way. Back then I had zero coping mechanisms to deal with the

by Brotha Dee, San Quentin State Prison in San Quentin, CA Hello friends it’s your partner Brotha Dee. I pray that all is well with you and your families as you read on. I know that today is the day to spit fire at the corruption in power, however this day I’m going to sip on some cool water and give props where props are due. The Beat Within, Brotha Dee would like to say, Thank You! What for Brotha Dee? Huh, I’m glad you asked. Thank you for being a friend who over 24 years ago create a consistent

by Mesro Coles El, San Quentin State Prison in San Quentin, CA When I hear the phrase “eye on the prize” I think about staying focused on goals. My primary goal now is parole. There are lots of things that keep us away from our goals, including ourselves. I know I have kept myself from my goals repeatedly by behaving in a way that was averse to my goal. Beware of these behaviors! I believe my greatest obstacle is me. I have no harsher critic than myself. I have been the one to tell me I am not worth the

by Dortell Williams  With this ethical will, the most important concept I wish to share with the world is that of empathy. Through lived experience, I was extremely apathetic, greedy, and selfish man. Today, more than any other time in my memory, segments of the world, in politics, in corporate settings, and in general society, are mirroring my previous venomous values. Here of late, society seems to be driven deeper and more frequently by conflict, contention and anger. This trio of character liabilities undergirds the worst decision I ever made in my life. A decision I deeply regret ’til this

by Binh Nguyen, California State Prison, Solano in Vacaville, CA After many years of using drugs and committing crimes to avoid dealing with my problems, I’ve had enough. I wasn’t satisfied with the way my life was going. I was tired of living a criminal lifestyle. I was a prisoner in my own distorted thoughts and desperately needed to free myself. CHANGE was a matter of life or death for me. I chose LIFE. Today, I have been clean and sober for three years and seven months. I am living a life in recovery by applying the 12-steps into my

by Christopher Walton, Santa Rosa Correctional Institution in Milton, Florida The first and only time I ever coached baseball happened as a fluke. I went to sign my step son up to play T-Ball at the Tampa Heights baseball complex. While I was in the office, the commissioner of the league, Monty Bostick, asked if I was interested in coaching one of the teams. At the time my schedule was pretty hectic so I initially declined the opportunity right away and went ahead and I said no.   A guy walked into the office, smelling as if he’d just finished

by Eddie M. Vargas Sr., CTF North in Soledad, CA Greetings,  First allow me to extend a warm welcome to each and every one of you here today and may you all be blessed with good health, happiness, strength and peace of mind and with that allows me to introduce myself.  My name is Eddie M. Vargas, Sr. and many people know me as Flaco. I was born and raised in San Jose, California. Currently I am serving a prison sentence of 60 years to life. It’s been rough, but I’d like to take a moment of your time to

by Richie Angulo, Avenal State Prison Avenal, CA All my life I was the person who struggled accepting my identity. From a very young age I started wearing a mask to hide the real me. This was my way of hiding my feelings, all my hurts, and pains. For a very long time I refused to be transparent. I was afraid of not being accepted, liked, supported, and loved. This was my life for many years, a life of darkness and loneliness, a life that became my normal. Over the yards this began to take a toll on me. I

by Julian Melara, Pleasant Valley State Prison Coalinga, CA How can a man who has never had a normal family structure know anything at all about family values? After twenty-two years of being incarcerated, I have painstakingly firsthand knowledge about what it is about family values that is important, simply because I had very little growing up. Admitting that was a hard process for me because we all want to pretend that we come from family that teaches you such good moral values in life, right?  Well, I will tell you something that you may not agree with right away,