Category: The Beat Without

by Q. Paige, San Quentin State Prison, CA Something that is equally hard to receive as well as give. Some might even think they’re not even deserving of it. Webster Dictionary defines “Forgiveness” as to give up resentment, pardon. Webster Thesaurus defines it as, release from the guilt or penalty of an offense.  With both of these definitions do you feel you can give or receive forgiveness? Me personally I can give it all day, but I’m one of those who feels they’re not deserving of it. I’ve made some horrible mistakes in my life, some to where some might

by Efren Bullard, Centinela State Prison in Imperial, CA My name is Efren Bullard and I use to write to you guys about 20 years ago. I know that the youngsters back then are no longer incarcerated in your system, but I found your address and wanted to share my life story again with the youth of today because it’s important for them to hear the truth about the path their taking… ”I was arrested November 6th, 1993 at the age of 18 for two first degree count of PC. 187, plus 23 counts of Robbery. I was looking at

by Q. Paige, San Quentin State Prison Something everyone wants but is bias in their own act of accepting. Webster Dictionary defines acceptance as “The act of accepting.” Webster Thesaurus defines accept as “to have favorable opinion of. Then they lead you to approve (of).”  Let’s speak of the Thesaurus definition of accept because I think that’s right on the money. To accept someone there has to be favorable qualities about them to even get you to consider. As I spoke of in my autobiography, “Too Black For Some, Not Back Enough For Others.” I had a very hard time

by Osbun Walton I share a very small space, with another adult person. The bunk bed, toilet, sink and two large selves within this small space, makes this cell that much more smaller. The Coronavirus pandemic has made this small space even less smaller in a bitter fearsome and a well sweet situation in this deadly and quite helpless darkness. What choice do I have looking ahead, praying that my prayers will be answered.  In my position of my incarceration, a convict by my own negative convictions, has no degree of real safety nor protection if that deadly virus introduces

by Chad Fitzpatrick,  MCF Stillwater, Bayport, Minnesota Where do I want my life to go? How do I want to be remembered? What’s my endgame? This is about my journey thought the prison system. I’ll never paint a pretty picture of prison because it is not. Some days are worse than others and prison is a violent place. It is my experience and opinion that the system is cruel and it is designed to humiliate us. It is their goal to prove that we’re nothing and we have given up in the name of discipline and punishment. In prison, I’m

by Michael Mackey The person who deserves a chance from me is my daughter, Adriana. I guess you can say I want a second chance, and please let me break it all down. I raised her. I was there for her growing up, as a baby, changing her diapers, making meals, and bottles. I learned how to do her hair all because of her. I couldn’t stand it when someone was doing her hair, tightly, or hurting her, that drove me crazy.  See my daughter is light skin, a red bone some would say, so she turns all shades of

by Jesse Ayers, San Quentin State Prison, CA I stood in my grandmother’s kitchen watching her cry. I could have reached out and put my hand on her shoulder. All I had to do was step over to her and I could have put my arm around her. The idea of hugging her never crossed my mind at all. Growing up in my house, I never saw anyone cry. There was hysterical laughter, annoying screeching and girls shrieking. Occasionally my dad would show-up and who knew what type of mood he would be in, when the roar of a lion

by Anthony Billings, Pleasant Valley State Prison, in Coalinga, CA They say hindsight vision is 20/20 and it’s hard not to agreeSo in this year of 2021 this is written to help guide and leadTime travel is not an option, otherwise I would have planned itTo go back to the seeds of my mistakes and prevent them from being plantedAlthough it’s too late for me and in a sense past my curfewThese lines are not meant for me but rather to be read by youStrive to excel in school because your grades actually matterAlso, maintain a healthy sense of humor,

by Michael Mackey, San Quentin State Prison, CA To me being brave means David and Goliath, standing up for something or someone you believe in. Who comes to mind when I hear this word, that could be a few people but the best person I can share with you all today is me.  I am the most brave person I know because I stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. I stand up for myself at times, but I put others first before me. Well, I used to do that all the time, blindly, and didn’t even

by Chad Fitzpatrick, Bayport, Minnesota This is about my life and observation of it and changes as I change. I would like to share with you what living with a mental illness is like and how I’ve learned to manage it. Every mental illness is different because every person is different. There is no easy cures or treatments but there are many different tools available to us so we can learn how to manage and survive living with a mental illness. It is us to us to figure out how to manage our own individual mental illness, which at times