Category: The Beat Without

by Aaron Begay, California Men’s Colony State Prison in San Luis Obispo, CA What you decide to put  into life is what you’re eventually going to get out of it.  For me, it was the moment I decide that I was going to put everything I believed into living life of crime and selling drugs at a young age. That itself would eventually have me living behind bars, and because of that the only thing I got out of it was 15 years to life in prison.  Growing up as a teenager that came from having nothing and coming from

by Jon Goldberg, San Quentin State Prison, CA I have just recently discovered my ideal job would be a clinical psychologist, specializing in family/couples therapy.  All my life I searched for my “one person” that could be my wife and start a family. At age 26 I quit looking and concentrated on my property. I decided my dog and I didn’t need anyone else. The minute I stopped looking she found me.  By 27 years old I was beginning the most serious relationship, the one I always dreamed of.  A year later I proposed. A year after that I was

by Flo, San Quentin State Prison, CA Years of trauma and tribulation went into the development of my depression. Even now, with the depression and stress management tools I have acquired, very recently, doesn’t completely eradicate the deep rooted depression I have.  However, the lessons I have learned about depression, the details I have learned about myself, the advice from wise people that I’ve accepted has helped me manage stress and depression in a way that I likely wouldn’t have, had I not put forth the action.  Today, I’m still learning myself, still, figuring out what works. I’ve learned it’s

by Patrick Demery, San Quentin State Prison, San Quentin, CA Richard Wright in the novel, Native Sun, “You’re trying to believe in yourself and every time you try to find a way to live, your own mind stands in the way.”  You know what that is? It’s because others have said that you were bad and they make you live in bad conditions. When a man hears that over and over and looks about him and sees that life is bad, he begins to doubt his own mind. His feelings drag him forward and his mind, full of what others

by Freddy Huante, San Quentin State Prison, San Quentin, CA My name is Freddy Huante, I am currently in prison and wanted to write to you about my own life experiences. As I too have been lost within the Foster Care System. My goal is to inspire you to make better decisions that I did.  Yes, I used to be in your shoes and I made some very poor choices, choices that landed me in prison, serving a term of four life sentences for murder, the taking of a human life, three counts of attempted murder, with one count of

by Harry Goodall Jr., San Quentin State Prison, San Quentin, CA For me growing up was hard because I felt I knew everything that life had to offer at the age of sixteen. Why would anyone want to stay young?  At the age of sixteen, I  obtained a fake ID (identification) saying I was 21 years old. Being an adult was a very hard act, one that was worthy of an academy award. The idea of growing up can be a hard decision for most of us. Struggling with personal ignorance was a hard thing to let go. Some of

by Shon Pernice, Moberly Correctional Center in Moberly, MO “Education has for its object the formation of character”- Herbert Spencer 1820-1903 The American prison system is a place that is filled with many dark voices. When you have failed in society, how does one rebuild their sense of self-worth? A day in prison is so rigidly controlled, structured, and dictated that a prisoner loses the ability to make decisions for themselves.  A prisoner does what he or she is told (if they know what is good for them) which is not conducive to the development of strong critical thinking skills.

by Osbun Walton, San Quentin State Prison, CA In truth, from the time of my arrest, when I was handcuffed, it was in that moment I wished for freedom. And in my conviction, my sentencing, was not a hope nor prayer for me to wish for freedom but I did.  Physically, for 28 years I am enslaved behind prison concrete high walls, with gun towers, to secure my physical body within the bounds of incarceration for a time more than my life could endure. Small cages, I and other prisoners are assigned to our unit for an animal captured or

by TruthNPoetry, San Quentin State Prison in San Quentin, CA It’s the craziest thingOr should I say, “thang,”Peer pressure, to love myself lesserBy joining a gang,I object on conscious groundsSo I continue to abstain,It bothers me deeplySo many children are slain,So I ain’t down to rideI don’t want to hangI’m only 12 and continuouslyHave to explain, “nah, I don’t bang,”I reject the appealOf living in fearLike TupacI shed so many tearsIntellectually I fail to graspThis fatal seduction,Of willful participationIn self-destruction,Blindly pledging allegianceTo tribal violence andGlamorizing the use of drugs,Abandon my moral compassAdopt the values of a thug,Use gang signs to

by Mr. Francisco “Frank” Gonzalez, RJ Donovan State Prison in San Diego, CA It has been quite a while since I’ve written to the great pages of The Beat Within with a powerful positive message that wow’s you every time. It’s 2022, and the unprecedented pandemic is hard to ignore these days. I’ve traveled this great state from within its prisons from Pelican Bay to the sunny side of RJ Donovan where I now find myself on a level 3 for the first time in my life (incarcerated life of 30 years). To begin with, I do not and did