Author: mpau@thebeatwithin.org

The Elusive Keys To Rehabilitation

The Beat Without

by Dortell Williams “If you want anything done, you’ve got to do it yourself,” goes the refrain. That includes that ever elusive thing they call rehabilitation: self-help and personal development The truth is that within the confines of our misnomer, The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, rehabilitation can be a difficult thing to tackle. Lack of class space, lack of vocations and lack of structure for personal growth. I recall asking a mental health specialist a few years back what “rehabilitation” is: What am I chasing here? Were my exact words. His response? He laughed, heartily. He told me: “There

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Changed Perspective

The Beat Without

by Fausto Minor Since my incarceration my life has changed dramatically.  The change came when I realized that I can do something constructive with my time in prison.  This realization came to me while I was serving a twenty-six month SHU term.  That is when I decided that I no longer wanted to be a prisoner of my own vice, so I started to study all sorts of subjects that would stimulate my mind.  I began to see the positive aspects of being in prison.  Once I realized that prison can be a positive experience for me, is when I knew

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In The Back of The Police Car

Piece of the Week

by Blaze When I was sitting in the back of that police car, I was thinking about a lot of things. I already have bad anxiety and PTSD so I was having lots and lots of flashbacks on my life. I was thinking a lot about my family, of me not being able to go back home, thinking wow, what a failure. I am thinking about all of those promises that I made. That I was going to change my ways and be a better person. And thinking about how many people that I let down. I had a really bad

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People Looked at Me as a Monster

Piece of the Week

by Joey When I was sitting in the back of that police car, I was thinking about when was the next time I would sleep in my own bed again? My heart was pounding, my mind was racing, and my body was perspiring. I was looking out of the window at other people who looked at me as though I was a monster. I put my head down. I was embarrassed of myself. I refused eye contact. I wanted to vanish. I could feel people’s eyes staring right at me. It felt horrible. I don’t like being labeled as a

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Watch Who You Trust

Piece of the Week

by Jamil I just sit and think of my past and I’m like dang, what a waste of life. Nothing but the same thing everyday. Running and scared of what? One day on November 1st, I woke up so happy like always and it was just a normal day for me. Just like every day and I wanted to go to my best friend Alric’s house so bad to get Wi Fi for music and Facebook. So I went to his house. I remember the last words I told my mom and my brothers were, “I love you mom I’ll

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Life Easier To Bare

The Beat Without

by Clarence Reese My life has known sunshine, has known rain. A life of little joy linked to an abundance of pain, Washed in a bird bath of tears I have caused to be shed, Who blew out the spark leaving no light up ahead? Roaming, cold, sweaty, walls of ink dripping tattoos and raw scars, Why do memories fade into dreams lost upon waking up behind bars? Near the shadow whose figure leans tilt, it has slip Sways handicap, without a mast, my life, a handicap ship Drifting in a sea of waves far from home, far from port,

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Counselor’s Corner

Counselor's Corner

Wrong Reason by Burnley I need some motivation. Maybe some inspiration. I feel like I’m in NYC and the police are choking me, I can’t breathe or conceive, as I run down the street with my hands up, bullets flying I think they’re hittin’ me. My mind turns to when I was twelve years old, playing in the park with my BB gun, can’t you see the police are killing me, as me, she, and he become we, not for the right reasons, but just for the season. The US government is trying to charge me with treason because some cops

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Someone Watching Over Me

Piece of the Week

by Karina My days locked up feel so long. Drifting on a memory can’t believe you’re gone. I miss you with all my heart. I wish God, would have warned me from the start. What did I do to deserve this? I didn’t even get one last hug from you. Oh baby, God took your love from me. I need to see my angel so it seems. It’s hard, to keep on living this way, I need you here with me. Why did he take you away from me? There is nothing that I wouldn’t do, I’d lie for you. I’d

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