Being in Control

-Hopeful, Yolo 

I miss being free and just being in control of my life. Being locked up in this facility is really difficult. I have a journal I write in so that when I’m free, I’ll read it and remember how hard it was not being in control of anything. 

I miss being with my parents and just being able to drive my car. I’ve been locked up five times already, and this time being the hardest. I hate not being able to be on my phone and eat fast food. I miss driving around and jamming my music. 

It’s been a hard forty-nine days of being locked up. I never thought I would be here for almost two months, and this is my second time being here for fifty days, as of today, in early October. 

I am truly grateful that I have both parents to support me while I’m locked up. I miss the fact that I could wake up in a room I earned, and in a bed, I bought, not caring when I woke up. And when I woke up, I got to play on my PS5 and just be on my phone. 

Hopefully I’ll go to rehab soon and complete the program so I can get back to my life. I’ll read the journal I write in every day and try not to make the same mistakes that got me here. I miss being in control, and hopefully soon I get my control back, and do what I like, instead of what I have to.