-Heart Broken, Stanislaus
To be honest, I feel like the hardest decision I’ve ever made was probably to stop giving my love to my first love. Reason is because at first sight, I was so in love with her I almost felt like we was meant to be.
Every day I felt like I needed to talk to her to see her or something that gave me some type of contact with her. She was selling the dream so good I almost felt like it was real until she kept on cheating, and even then I thought it was somewhat real because she would always come back.
It was almost as if she knew when it was good and that’s when I thought, “Does she come back because she loves me or because she knows I’ma let her back in my life every time she needs me?”
I keep letting her put me at my lowest. Will I help her at hers or was I gonna just go through the pain of her doing me wrong and disregarding my feelings with every chance she get? Or was I gonna man up and just deal with life without her?
That’s what I ended up doing. I’m trying to deal with life without her. I ain’t gonna lie, sometimes it gets hard and I call her to see how she’s been and I feel bad because now she realizes how good I was to her.
I get it because she’s exactly where I used to be — searching for love in the wrong place, and I honestly feel like I don’t know what love is no more. This sucks because even though she faked it at first it felt real and that’s the best feeling I ever had.