-Daniel “Green Eyes” Galindez Jr, Correctional facility, Stockton, CA
My name is Daniel “Green Eyes” Galindez from San Jose, CA. I’ve been locked up since the age of seventeen years old. I’m now thirty-one.
I was that at risk youth who was lost to the streets, gang life, criminal ways of thinking, reckless and felt alone. I just want to touch on the topic of domestic violence and some thoughts I have on the matter — to let you know the different forms of DV and to let you know that you are not alone!
Reflecting on my life as a child, I grew up with a single mother with her own struggling drug addiction. I was a victim of domestic violence and I didn’t even know it until I gained knowledge. My mother, I love her with all my heart and I would never fault her and mean no disrespect by me sharing my story to help struggling kids. With that said I’ll now continue…
My mother would smoke PCP and neglect me in different ways because of addiction. I remember at the age of four, seeing my mom smoke this cigarette and act like a zombie. I’d grab her joint and run under the bed with the phone to call my grandparents and tell them to come and get me ‘cause I was scared of my mom.
Incidents like that have had a psychological damaging effect on me, which was a form of domestic violence. I used to get yelled at, spanked and hit by my mom or sister who was thirteen years older than me. When my mom would go to work, my sister would watch me. I was always in fear of her because she’d yell at me, hit me and threaten me.
So aside from the verbal, emotional, mental abuse, there was also physical abuse and as a kid who’s been abused as an adult I became insecure. I unconsciously implemented a lot of those learned behaviors with my relationships with family, friends, girlfriends and even abused myself because of self-destructive behaviors.
I remember when I was eight years old me and my momma got pulled over and the cops found sixteen PCP joints on her and got sent to prison. Then Child Protective Services (CPS) sent me to live with my cousin and all her kids. Then I got sent to live with my grandparents until she got out of prison.
I ended up developing attachment issues and I’m still learning to cope with them up to date. Being locked up for years at a time people come and go from my life without word. I always felt that no one loved me enough to stick around and be there for me. It doesn’t hurt any less when people come into my life, I let my guard down and they hurt me by breaking my trust or turning their back on me.
So, as a defense mechanism as a teenage boy I learned to depend on myself and take care of myself. I became a user/player. I’d never open up. I’d tell my friends, girlfriends anything they needed to hear so I could benefit. I was always the one to break off relationships so that I had this false sense of control over things.
I felt I had to protect myself and take care of myself because the adults in my life who were supposed to protect me and love me, were doing the exact opposite. I was looking for a role model. I hung out with adults and older kids so I adopted a lot of different people’s characteristics and applied them to this fake persona I was inventing of myself.
Me being victimized in my life as a child from various forms of domestic violence/abuse has played a significant role in me creating/having a negative/false core belief system. Not receiving nor seeking help as a kid about these different traumas has left me unequipped to cope/deal and heal from all this abuse that five-year-old Daniel Galindez Jr had to endure.
By me putting my pride aside and sharing my story and asking for help, I have now been able to identify/see the problem and have coping skills/tools I can use to deal with and combat all the trauma. By being open and receptive to game from others I’ve been able to grow and gain insight on myself and find the roots of why I’ve victimized people in my past.
By me learning the roots and effects it had on myself and others, I can try to understand it better to prevent domestic violence. I’ve adopted certain traits, such as low self-esteem, resentment towards myself and others. I’ve been dealing with rejection my entire life so insecurity is a trigger and something I need to deal with. I blamed myself for my best friend Nathan Ooka’s death, so guilty feelings and those thoughts creates a trigger for anger out of myself.
Coming to prison at seventeen years old, by nineteen years old I was cellies with my biological father on a level-four prison yard where he introduced me into snorting heroin. I got high with the father who neglected me my entire life because of gangs, drugs, and poor decision making. My whole youth I was looking for my father but my father never wanted me. He’s since gotten out of prison after doing fifteen years, and last year lost his life to drugs.
I’m now calling my seventeen-year-old son from prison, begging him to change his lifestyle and stop gang life before he ends up in prison with me or dead. I really hope y’all young ninjas take heed to game and change your choices before you make that choice you can’t ever take back.