-Wendy Fong, Central California Women’s Facility (CCWF) in Chowchilla, CA
I became a parent at the age of fifteen. When I became a parent, I wanted to be a good parent. I thought about this for a long time. I realized I wanted to incorporate the values of my father without being too protective.
I did not want to shelter my child too much because I knew being sheltered made me more curious and daring. I knew I did not want to just be my child’s friend because then there was no structure, guidance, or boundaries. I learned this because my mom treated me like a friend and it was great, except for not having that guiding hand.
Instead, I felt like I had to fit in. Being a parent at such a young age was challenging. Now that I’m grown, I have the wonderful ability to say hind sight is 20/20. My best advice for a new parent is remember babies are just little people who don’t know how to communicate. They absorb everything they see. They mimic actions and words they are exposed to.
Children “learn what they live.” You need patience. Talk to your child, don’t yell at them. Yelling just makes them shut down so they are not receptive. Encourage creativity and help them express themselves. Be honest about everything in life.
If you lie or try to cover things up they will never trust you. When you limit them give a real explanation as to why and what the consequences are in life if they choose not to listen. Tell them all of the good and all of the bad so they can make informed decisions even if they go against what they are told by you. Put your children above all.
They are our future. They determine what the narrative will be based on what you teach them. Most importantly, love them unconditionally. You brought them into the world, they did not ask to come. Show them the best of everything, especially yourself.