by Joseph Aguirre, Correctional Facility in Delano, CA
It’s that time of year again where for many, it can be lonely and painful. Many people don’t have family, friends and can be in confinement or in the streets. My utmost regards and love to those and encouragement to be strong, God sees and knows our needs.
My name’s Joseph Aguirre. I’m an ex-gang member of forty-four years in age, Mex-American, from the small town of Fairfield, CA. Just the other day, I was thumbing through my address book, coming upon your address, PO box. It was written there a long time ago. I recall reading a magazine and others encouraging the youth and thought, I will assist in youth counseling one day when my mind is in better working order.
It’s been twenty years now that I was sentenced to a thirty-three year sentence for armed robberies. A very long time! I didn’t see any light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I was insane. Literally, state doctor’s found me insane at the time of crimes I committed here in prison. I was carrying a knife sometimes in my rectal cavity. It was bad.
Then I attempted suicide for a second time before having a revelation. I had stabbed a man, attacked guards with a slashing weapon and I found out that rock-bottom is exactly what they all talk about. It’s that place where no one wants to know you or help you because they all think you’re a scumbag. I didn’t do any of my family wrong like stealing, but I done them a great disservice not being there for them. I’ve missed out on a lot of birthdays, graduations, a lot!
God is good. He has been keeping me protected. My family is safe and healthy. It was gonna take some time, but he’s opened my eyes. He said I would write an adult cartoon using my songwriting and poetry skills. He taught me how to draw when no one would do the illustrations. He told me to write my life’s experiences down into a book and that it would help someone. I’m currently attempting to have these produced.
At fourteen years old, I was sent to the California Youth Authority. Someone had the wrong idea about sending traumatized children to cement enclosures with other traumatized youth, from one violent environment into the next without anywhere to run.
I have new visions and will invest my success and energies into juvenile reform. You can’t send developing humans to inhumane conditions and expect them to be recorrected or rehabilitated. What do you think might happen besides fighting, learning how to fight, and committing “better” crime, without trying to get caught. It was called Gladiator School for a reason, people!
I hope to be an inspiration to someone going through what I did and prevent them from heading where I am today.
It’s not where you are, but where you’re going.