by Francisco “Frank” Gonzalez, RJ Donovan in San Diego, CA
Folks, as I sit here listening to the country song “Heaven,” by Kane Brown, thousands of memories come rushing to me, all of it coupled with the holiday season. Wow! It’s a doozey folks! You cannot make this stuff up or find it on Netflix. This my friends is life!
As I reiterate this, I guarantee you all that my title as a jail house lawyer and prisoner’s right activist is a legit as part of my transformation and redemption. It’s in every sense my forte. As I take you down memory lane, kids I want you to know this, “Do not try this at home!”
The year was around 2005 when my brother wrote me one of the most important letters I would ever receive. It helped me make one of those life changing decisions. I can still remember the conflict I was having and the choice I made to make something out of myself.
I started writing this self-affirmation that manifested itself into a path of redemption. I recall wanting to be something in life that I can be proud of and build a legacy off of what would be my vision. The first time I sat to write my self-affirmation to be involved in law and activism, all the light bulbs went on! And I do mean all of them went on! I had just received a 5 year SHU (Security Housing Unit) Term and an indeterminate SHU, so my fight was an uphill battle!
I had no reason to care about anything yet, my brother Alberto’s letter spoke to me. I then asked myself, “What do you want out of life?” “No limits! I decided to think Big! I then began to write and write to anybody and everybody! The SHU terms tested every positive ounce of my being to remain strong, determined, and focused on life. I was a man on a straight journey to use my energy for something good.
I began to litigate and earned a certain notoriety for exercising my “rights,” to the fullest extent of the law. During those years I was bounced around from AD-SEG eventually landing me in the New Folsom Medical SHU. I was just diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and the hunger strikes were on full steam ahead! Everything happening only reinforced what I already knew would be my calling to be a lawyer and activist.
My brother’s message to change echoed in my head. In that moment it seemed like an insane radical idea. It was time for me to change and be the good person I was born to be! At first, I would struggle with my balance to accept the fact that I was on a 29-to-life sentence with no freedom in sight! I was never going home was the only thought I fed myself. I was supposed to die a death by incarceration was all I really knew. So going home seems almost naive, a notion. It was a hard reality I had accepted as a kid. It was my reality at a young age guaranteed by the state. There was no ifs, ands or buts about it.
After all, I was with the “worst of the worst,” the Pelican Bay sign boasted it, until families and friends complained to get it removed. My vision would be fulfilled. It all hit me! I would be someone in life my family would be proud of. I would not just be another number in the system! I would be somebody! That’s right folks I had the audacity to think of building a meaningful legacy and life in a cage made for the destruction of the human spirit! I started to think big and positive! When I decided to change I meditated and visualized my life. I even did yoga. I then sat down and actually wrote my life plans! I created a list of things I wanted to accomplish. I knew I had all the tools right in front of me, within reach!
Pen and paper along with my allotted 10 books is all I needed. Sheer brilliance was at my fingertips! I would educate people on the law and their rights in the world we live in. Never underestimate what a bit of education can do for you! I have my high school diploma, 3 vocational certificates, and 26 completion certificates of various groups, from anger management to communication skills. A worldwide view enriched by education is what I attained. You too can accomplish success with an education there’s nothing wrong with being self-taught. Just pick up a book!
And do not stop there! Write one too!
As my writing improved, I reached out to people and struck up friendships with a certain California Senator and Ex-Assembly member (D) Patty Berg of Eureka and human rights attorneys and activists. They inspired me by responding to my letters with kind words of encouragement. I then built up a network of friends that were from San Francisco and Oakland. I got visits from friends and activists.
I have to admit I was amazed by some of the people I met. They were really dedicated. That is how I met my good friend Donna at the Human Kindness Foundation. Donna is my kindred spirit, wise and true to the knowledge of truth. It is her that has assured me I’m a loving kind being meant for greatness! That one is a doozy too! I know they meant it out of love.
Such extraordinary people have been a part of my life. Their love and strength has made me a more determined and a more resilient person. I have become proactive, productive and a highly progressive thinking person. Hate, anger, and rage left me. I replaced it all with love and light.
I changed my lifestyle and everything I initiated turned to gold. I turned negative energy into a positive force. To be honest with you all, I could no longer carry the weight of hate. It took so much energy to hold onto such ugliness. What a release and cathartic experience it was. I meditated even more and deeply on universal truths. My reputation grew as a jailhouse lawyer and activist. That’s when my life took on a whole new meaning.
I began to write articles here and there. As I gained publishing accolades, I gained confidence to speak my mind in this oppressive environment. That’s when I discovered my “freedom of speech.” What an exhilarating feeling is the ability to speak my mind and get things out in open which was me essentially, gaining my personal growth.
So, with that renewed awareness and motivation, I started to build up a life for myself that I can wake up to everyday with a sense of purpose. I felt a sense of living. For the first time in my life, I was happy. Those feelings drove me to work hard to maintain my positive attitude and keep working harder than the rest to accomplish all my goals.
Sleep escapes me nowadays and at the young age of 46, my fine mind tends to overwork to make-up for lost time. As I think, think of my younger years, I think of you kids in a cage… and to that my heart goes out to you all, because kids in cages will never make sense to me.
Kids, remember use your greatest weapon in life, your brain! As I write this think bigger and take the smarter path to achieve your goals and life’s plans. Yet, I live with no regrets! I can only push forward where my journey is one of a kind! You are probably wondering that there’s got to be more to it “Frank.” Trust me I am not holding back on you all.
Well, it’s not exactly rocket science yet, life is intricate and you must be intrepid. I grew up in a cage literally! Nonetheless, I decided to make the important thing of living life. I found the way to live to be self-sufficient while doing it my way!
Don’t let obstacles be a hinderance and most important do not make excuses. Learn, and keep on learning. When the answers to life escape you don’t be afraid to ask questions. Ask and ask again, the search for truth and justice is never easy.
And with that, ladies and gentlemen is how it all turned into a golden cage where I found my inner-peace and solace! Search deep within yourself, you’ll find those very same answers and solutions! With that, I leave you hoping that somehow someway you all will TRIUMPH! I leave you with my personal self-affirmation.
“A CONSCIENCE DAY OF LIGHT,
morning, noon, and night.”
IN THE NAME OF HUMANE POSSIBILITIES,