by SM, Sacramento
Dear Drugs,
Where can I start? What can I start with? Oh Drugs, you and I have been through some crazy shhh. I’ll never forget all the memories I’ve had with you. All the great times and bad. All the fun and life-threatening experiences. We’ve been together for so long, almost five years now. It’s going to be hard having to say goodbye.
You’ve been my backbone. You’re all I know. All I cared about. For years, I lived my life on drugs, and for drugs. I rely on you when things go wrong. When all else failed, you were always there for me, unlike family. Unlike my friends. I could depend on you. Lately though, you’re hurting me more than helping me.
My life isn’t getting better, it’s getting worse and going downhill at a fast pace. You’re supposed to be keeping that from happening. I’m feeling sick when you start to leave my body. I’m depressed when I didn’t have you. You used to be my reason to smile, but then I didn’t even plan on making it past eighteen.
I made money to have you. I broke the law to have you. I put you in my veins so I could enjoy you even more. I know you kept me happy, each and every one of you. We got close at such a young age. Inseparable. I can’t keep doing this with you anymore. It’s a vicious cycle. I can’t wait to feel like I need you to be happy. I don’t want to depend on you to feel better about life, myself, and others.
I want to be free from your controlling bond. I want to smile because I’m healthy and alive, not because I’m high as a kite. I have no money because of you. I’m missing veins because of you. I’m locked up because of you. I’m worthless because of you. I’m ashamed because of you. I’m sad because of you. All I had was you. We’re done.