by Jon D Goldberg, San Quentin State Prison, CA
A good deed is when you can be there for someone when they are at their lowest low. Sometimes that could just mean an ear to listen, while they unload all their emotions and feelings.
Just recently a friend that needed to talk came to my cell. He just needed someone to listen to him. I sat and took in all he had to say. He had just been found suitable for parole a couple months before and was anxious about support that was promised to him.
I first sought to understand before being understood. I validated his feeling, then I began to try and help him solve the most critical issues first. I let him know I was there and would do everything I could. That’s what friends do. I reminded him to not assume things, to remain confident, and to calm down and let the others involved calm.
A good acronym to remember are the “Six R’s.” Recognize, retreat, relax, reflect return, resolve. So I believe I helped my friend make sense out of a trying situation. I hope to be able to help this friend again in the future.
He seemed to be anxious, hurt and feeling unsupported. I am a person who is always willing to help a friend or neighbor.