by Mesro Coles-El, San Quentin State Prison, CA I am brokenFor yearsI was openTo abuse fromPeople needingEgo-strokingThat berated myNeed to be outspokenInstead of supportThose who told meThey loved meFiled reportsThat lied to meWhen theySold meMeanwhileWhen I was in courtWhere I boldlyTried to get homeI wasOut of sortsAngry and lonelySomedaysI stare atMy shardsGathering dustThe floor isSo hard!In too many waysI’m scarredSo much soIt feels likeHappy daysJust aren’tIn the cardsFor sportSlave holdersCarve toFold meInto my kennelI’m a soldierThrough hunger painsMade bolderBy my soft touchThat got meBoiling in life’s kettleWith no oneTo hold meThen I get mailFrom peopleI love and trustAnd mix theirGolden
Continue ReadingYear: 2022
Hope
by William Curl, Corcoran State Prison in Corcoran, CA Hey, how’s the people? I realized not too long ago y’all be writing to prompts. I’ve gotten a few in the magazines but I always go on my own lil’ tangent. The other day I received some words from David and he included some prompts wit “HOPE” being a potential subject. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to talk about that! After existing so long without it I have a spiritual appreciation for it. HOPE is a real deep word. It’s synonymous with love in way of trying to articulate what
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Volume 27.23/24
Please contact Lisa Lavaysse if you would like to purchase the full PDF or a printed copy of this issue.
Continue ReadingEd Note 27.23/24
Greetings friends! Summer is upon us and our latest double issue, 27.23/24 is ready for all our friends, colleagues, associates, partners and various supporters. We are super excited about all the possibilities coming our way these next few months and beyond, as we are currently working on a very special Covid issue for Santa Clara County and one for all of our readers. There is plenty of amazing content (since March 2020) that speaks on this pandemic from so many of you. Talk about a true history book documenting the times. Also, over the past month, we have been traveling
Continue ReadingWhat Is Life?
by XS, Sacramento What is life? What is the meaning of life? That is the question I ask myself every day. At age ten is when I lost my brother. It made me numb to life. I didn’t understand why. What is life? Being shot in the face at eleven, I realized not everyone lives through this. What is life? Having my mom put me into the system was the beginning of my downfall. Going through it, I saw it as a game. I saw it as a game sixteen times because I thought it was daycare. I was not
Continue ReadingThey Don’t Understand
by DG, James Ranch, Santa Clara It’s my lifestyle and my decisions. We had a talk about a year ago. The last time I was at the ranch I called my sister and I was talking to her about all my plans that I had. When I was out I was telling her how good I wanted to do and how I was going to make a change and all this but the moment I got out I stayed out all night, did some stupid and didn’t tell her about it until later on. I had my mind focused on
Continue ReadingThings You Hate to Hear
by Andrew, San Francisco The thing I most hate to hear is that I act like or resemble my father. I also hate to hear that I am a bad influence or a bad person. The reason I don’t like to be compared to my father is because he was just a bad person in general and also never in my life. I did not ever think that it affected me until I got older and realized that I probably never would have been incarcerated if I had a father figure in my life. I was getting incarcerated because I
Continue ReadingForbidden Freedom
by R, Missoula, Montana I feel helplessMy wrong doings…And I can’t do anything?Lost hope in a lost placeI forget thingsWhat did she look like again?What does being outside feel like?Will I ever be free again?“You can’t do that”“Not allowed”“Stop”“You can’t visit”Fourteen years oldNot allowed to see my parentsNot a single slice of freedomLocked upMy thoughts will wanderBut where will they take me next?Stress valley, crybaby city, hopeless homesIf you’re lucky, one day you’ll wake upFrom this dream…O n e d a y.
Continue ReadingChange Is Mandatory
by None Of Your Business, Santa Clara I Got sent to South Illinois to live with my pops when I was sixteen. I had a way different mind set then, from now. They told me, “If you want to get out of jail go outta state.” To me that was a great offer. The only downside was that I had a lot of hatred towards my pops. When he was living out here he was less than 15 miles and he couldn’t see the kid or never did he check up on me. I felt played that I had to
Continue ReadingSurrounding My Toxic Shame
by Richie Angulo, Avenal State Prison in Avenal, CA A few months ago my friend Mark recommended the book, “Healing The Shame That Binds You,” by John Bradshaw. It’s rare that a self-help book catches my attention, however this book turned my life upside down (in a good way). Reading this book allowed me to connect some dots from my past that I desperately needed. Author Bradshaw distinguishes between healthy shame as an emotion versus toxic shame that can become an identity. Unfortunately, I allowed toxic shame to consume my life and strip me of the man I was supposed
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