by William Curl, CSATF/ State Prison Corcoran, in Corcoran, CA
Hey how’s the people. Been a minute since I wrote. I got two classes for summer college semester. Sociology and History. A lot of reading and writing to add to the schedule.
The other day I was chilling with the fellas going over options in search of ways to motivate the stalled Life Without Parole(LWOP) legislation. The discussion quickly got heavy about how horrible judges were interpreting-enforcing laws that benefit us. One guy went on a really educated dissertation about how the Eight Amendment to the Constitution guarantees us “equal protection” of laws that similarly situated people have benefited from. He knew way too much about laws that his whole life, before prison was dedicated to ignoring, disobeying, and breaking.
Imagine waking up one morning depending on the very same laws you previously had no respect for. That didn’t go as planned. Discussing law and politics with the guys who more than likely didn’t finish school, in society wasn’t the only tripping aspect of our meeting. I noticed most of the fellas in the circle were sworn enemies on the streets.
Imagine waking up one morning and finding out the beef that killed ya homie or that got you sitting in a cage for life no longer existed. Way too many suffer emotional-psychological imbalances when the realization sets in. That definitely didn’t go as planned.
After discussing a writing campaign to the Seniors to urge their support to pass legislation allowing us to go to the board, Father’s Day came up. It didn’t dawn on me I was having this interaction with a bunch of fathers. Of course most of ‘em talked about getting a second chance to get out and contribute more than genetic material to their kids. A solid ‘rade of mine was sharing how good his son was doing since he paroled.
Yep, they were cellies. Imagine one day waking up and ya son walks into ya cell. Or getting hit with the realization, like I did, that I might never have kids, or accomplish anything as a mature adult because the slow torturous sentence I got equates to death in cage.
I don’t know how I feel about never becoming a Father. The thought is simply too painful to think about. I do know the role of a Father is vital to our forward movement. Don’t get me wrong women have done beautiful jobs as single parents but we men have to do better when it comes to contributing to the betterment of the lives we help create.
All of this made me think of my Father. He passed away from cancer since I been here. His death served as the motivation to my change. I’m going to share a poem with y’all that I wrote about my pops:
His name is Matthew but y’all can call him Mr. Jones
He did what most Dad’s don’t do, he provided a presence at home
He’d hang when it was time to but he was strict to the bone
That gave good sense to our dome
Made us productive and grown
Is it too late to apologize to my Father for the disappointment I’ve shown
He wasn’t the one that planted my seed but been by my side all along
He taught me right from wrong, stressed life has its rules
We all play, avoiding the gong, depend on the path we choose
He taught me how to ride a bike, how to lace up my shoes
He’d condone a fight to preserve myself and values
He always shone the light when I got stuck and confused
He broke down sportsman like for times I win or I lose
He smashed the hype about male-female relations
He said respect all women, even those with small expectations
They’ll affect ya’ living, so make sure it’s love not infatuation
When you find a cool live-in there’s no perfect co-habitation
Love be tripping so no violent retaliations
If that talk ain’t getting it just change ya’ destination
Just don’t get twisted in some violent situation
‘Cause that anger misplacement will have you cuffed at the station
One last statement touched my soul in-depth
He said he didn’t care if we embraced him but he wouldn’t accept
The emotional torment and blatant disrespect
Of the loveliest woman on this earth he ever met
Last time I checked this is as good as it gets
Same woman he held dear to his chest and gave me breath.