by Precilla, Los Angeles
The time I’ve wasted is my biggest regret
Spent in this place. I will never forget.
Just sitting in here thinking about the things I have done.
The crying, the laughing, the hurt, and the fun.
Now it’s just me and my hard driven guilt
Behind a wall of emptiness allowed to be built.
I’m trapped in my body just wanting to run
Back to my youth with laughter and fun.
But the chase is over and there’s no place to hide.
Everything is gone including my pride
With reality suddenly right in my face.
I’m scared I’m stuck in this place.
Now memories flash through my head and the pain is so easy to see
by the tears that I shared.
I asked myself where and why did I go wrong?
I guess I was weak when I should’ve been strong.
As I look at my past it’s so easy to see
The fear that I was afraid to be me.
I showed I was tough and acted like I was cool,
But I was actually lost like a blinded old fool.
I’m getting too old for this BS and this game
Of being real hard with no sense of shame.
It’s time that I change and get on with my life,
Fulfilling my dreams for a family and a husband.
What my future would hold I really don’t know,
But the time I’ve wasted is starting to show.
I just live for a day when I get a new start
In the dreams I still hold deep in my heart.
I hope I can make it. I know I at least have to try
Because I’m heading towards death and I don’t want to die
at such a young age.
Thanks for listening Beat Within.