by B, Sacramento
In my eyes, my story will tell you everything I have been through. People say they feel my pain, but they couldn’t. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I see my past and it hurts to think about it, even envision it. But my eyes tell me everything.
I mean people can look in them and see mad hurt, but they can’t see through them. My eyes would say I had been hurt and I want to love. I done did things in my life that I can’t take back. And that I seen my brothers leave this earth and my pops lost life.
And that broke me. I was never the same, and I keep trying to make it through, but I can’t. I’m always getting hurt and every time I try to do something, I fail. Damn near dropped out of school, hit the streets, making money. I seen my closest dawgs get locked up for trying to hustle.
I see them bullets fly, seen blood, and I seen people get hit, I seen a whole lot before my life developed and my eyes are traumatized. And I see myself in a cage. But this rapping got me going. I feel like I can go somewhere, you feel me. In my eyes, I see my main female being my heart.
Too many times in my eyes, I sat here thinking that I was out on earth to fail, but I need somebody to count on. In my eyes, I only see negative. I don’t want to keep numbing my pain with this double cup. In my eyes, I got som’n to prove. This life came to me, my pops gone. I got to provide for my family.
Lost a lot of people just in one year. It’s crazy because I need to keep my negative because this music keeps me going. I’m a thug, can’t stop till I can’t anymore, because in my eyes there’s I all know. You think ima change. Sometimes, I get those thoughts in my eyes that it is addicted to me, but in my eyes, I see the tears.
And behind that curtain I will never show nobody. At this age, they lock me up like I ain’t human. In my eyes, all think about is them shootings. And my brothers were there. In my eyes, they all fake and snakes.
I know I’m going to go and stop me, ‘cuz nobody going to stop me. In my eyes I see a papered route. That’s what I’m chasing. Been thugging. In my eyes, my heart hurts but I can’t show it. Why?
Because they use my weakness against me, and I don’t take that shhh well. I see myself at the top making millions and all the snakes is gone. In my eyes, I see a female loyal as hell. In my eyes, I see death coming soon.