by YoungMan, San Mateo
My main purpose in writing this is to apologize to my parents that have taken care of me, helped me and supported me since day one. Even though there’s times that I put them through hell, I wouldn’t be where I was without them. You guys have done the unimaginable and helped me throughout my whole life.
The first parent is my mom and this is one of the most important people to me. Being in here really taught me to appreciate my mom. Now, don’t get me wrong, I never did anything out of pocket to my mom. I’ve always had love for her. I just haven’t appreciated and really done things for her the way I wanted. On the outside, she’s always been there for me, fed me, took care of me and been a good mother to me. She’s extremely emotional, a bit extra at times and can take things to the extreme but I realized she complained about the little things because she knew it was going to turn into a big thing at some point.
I’ve put her through a lot and even though we don’t see eye to eye at times, I love my mom more than anything and she’s done unimaginable things for me and even though I put her through hell, she’s never given up on me or stopped loving me. She’s one of the only people I know that’s going to be there for me no matter what and I want her to know that when I get out, I’m going to make her proud and show her I truly appreciate everything she’s done for me. I’m sorry mom for all the arguments. I was being hard-headed and staying out all night, which left you worried if I’m going to die or be in jail. Most of all, I’m sorry for all the stress and pain I’ve caused you. Even though I don’t get emotional with you, it hurts to see you in pain because of the situations I put you through.
I keep thinking back to the day I came in and you told me that you didn’t want me to go out because you thought I was going to get arrested. I felt so dumb afterwards because I actually did. I know I came close to dying that night and I could see it in your face, how scared you were at the hospital. I know you’ve been telling me to thank God for being alive but the truth is I don’t care whether I live or die but I want to live for you. I’m glad God kept me alive and saved you from never-ending pain.
Even though we have our tough times, that doesn’t change the fact that we’re extremely close and nothing could get in between us. I don’t ever want you to feel like any of this is your fault because you’ve done everything you could. You always made sure I had everything I needed and I promise to make up for all of this. Even though I may never tell you all of this because I’m not much of an emotional person, I promise my actions will show you that I want to make you happy and not hurt you in any way again. I never had to question your loyalty. I love you and I hope you know if you ever need me, I’ll always be there for you.
The next person that deserves an apology is my father. Even though he and I might not be super close, I appreciate him for always being there for me like my mom. Even though you worked crazy hours, you always made the time for me when I needed you and you never missed one of my basketball games. Even though we fight a lot, I appreciate all the stuff you do for us, no matter what it was or when we needed it. Whenever I called, you always showed up.
I know you’re not home as much as you would like and when you are, you always have had to hear bad stuff about me. I’m sorry for taking you for granted. We’ve had intense arguments and said a lot of things we don’t mean but I admit I was blind to all the stuff you did for me. That was until I’ve been in here and I really got to thinking about how you always taught me things that are important in life, especially financially. I appreciate it a lot because it’s advice I’ve never heard or gotten from anyone and I need it. I also always love to hear anything about money.
The thing I appreciate the most is that whenever I’m in a jam you always find a way to get me out of it. I admire and look up to you as a father and how you live financially because you’re great with both things and I hope I can be as good if not even better than you. You’re a good role model and you set a gold standard for me. You set a perfect example on what a man should be and what he should do for his family and I’m sorry for all the stuff I’ve given you and being ungrateful at times.
I’ve put you through lots of stuff and I can’t imagine where I would be without you or mom. Thank you for being the most supportive person I know and teaching me how to get a bag the legal way. I’m sorry for all the times I disappointed you and said things that hurt you. We can all agree you deserve to get everything you wish for because you’ve worked your butt off for years.
I look forward to building a better relationship with you when I get out. I owe my life to you and mom and I love and respect you guys more than anything. I promise to be successful and make something out of my life. Since you guys worked so hard for me, I’m forever grateful and forever in debt.