Another week, another Beat! We would like to welcome you wonderful readers back to another fabulous edition of the one and only The Beat Within, double issue 26.17/18. We would like to extend a warm embrace to every single one of you readers and hope that when you read this you and your loved ones are in best of health spiritually, physically and mentally. Our dear friend OT is back with his insights for all our friends to read straight from the very hot climate of Managua, Nicaragua. Let’s pass the keyboard to our dear friend and colleague, OT!
Boy is it hot, and as I sit here and contemplate on either drinking juice, or water, or even soda, which I try not to drink too often, a lemon falls on top of my head and rolls off onto the table. I forget to mention to you guys that my day consists of working on my computer under a lemon tree, well it’s a lime tree actually. This is where I catch my breeze, check my emails, talk to my family, read writings from The Beat Within, watch my Warrior’s basketball games, and bust my fantasy basketball, baseball and football moves, with the hope of winning! Ha!
Little did I know, but now that I think about it a little more in depth, I live my life under a lemon/lime tree. Haha. How funny is that!? My day consists of me waking up showering, brushing my teeth, sometimes I work out before I shower, sometimes later, but however my morning starts, I also make my way to wooden table and a seat right under this enormous lemon/lime tree. In fact, the tree is so ginormous that it doesn’t belong to anyone on this side of the wall of my girlfriend’s family, this tree is in fact the neighbor’s tree but it’s branches hang and drip over the wall of our yard like a Rastafarian Dreads would dangle over their headband., (if they’re wearing one of course.) Well enough about the tree, I think you guys get the picture.
Under this tree is where I past my minutes, hours, days, and nights. Under this tree, I watch “The Walking Dead” and wonder to myself if Rick Grimes is going to lose another one of his loved ones because a zombie is going to bite them or some other bad guys are out to get them.
This sacred place for me is my safe haven. I wouldn’t say that this is the place that gives me the most tranquility in the world, matter of fact, this the place where my mind zooms at a 150 mph thinking about how to tackle my challenges that are present for me on Monday, all the way through Sunday. Wait, guys, I’m arguing with my girlfriend right now. Hold on. Oh yeah, that takes places all under the lemon tree too. Nothing major, just some miscommunication between me and her. All is well. I really don’t like arguing.
As I sit here and reminisce about my days when I was locked up and I couldn’t get a hold of my loved ones, didn’t know what was going on in the world, those problems that I left behind in prison, have not followed me here to my lemon tree. I have 8 years in Nicaragua now, and I’ve been through my fair share of trials and tribulations. My journey after prison, my struggles that I had in prison, still continue. Everyday it’s a constant battle folks.
After you gain your freedom back, your problems won’t just magically disappear. You will be confronted with a new set of challenges and problems. You need to figure out where your next meals are coming from, put clothes on your back, and in all reality, being fresh out of being locked up you need to get enrolled in school or get a job, to stay productive. Right?
I went through this same thing. You guys need to find your personal comfort zone. It could be your room, your house, your park, but you need to find it, so you can chill and give yourself some time to reflect. Reflecting about life and what you want to do is easy when you are away, locked up. You have nothing else to do. When you get back out there (in the free world), your life will be full of so many distractions. Your attention will be drawn to your phone, taking pics, Intagram finding out what you missed while you were locked up for x amount of time. I get it, you want to make up for the lost time. There’s plenty of things that you missed, Your birthday, your girl/boyfriend’s birthday, your mom’s birthday, Mother’s Day, etc. You’re not going to get all that back. You need to focus on what you could do to make sure you never miss out on anything again.
Find time for yourself. Find time to reflect. Find your safe haven, but a real safe haven. Don’t tell me the block is your safe haven. You all want to know the real reason why you think so much inside that cell? Because in your cell, now I’m speaking for juveniles not adults, prison is more intense and things happen there, but in juvenile hall you guys are safe? No one is trying to harm you. Nothing is going to bite you. The only risk you have is maybe the Coronavirus and now the safety protocols and measures are set in place specifically for your safety.
That cell is your safe haven, as much as you hate to admit, and I guess I wouldn’t feel comfortable admitting that either. A safe haven allows you to think clearly and make good decisions. When I have a bad day, I’m right under my lemon tree, maybe smoke a cigarette and contemplate on what I need to do to make my day better. That’s what it is all about. If you want to make your life better you need to make your days better, and that starts with today.
Once you’re released find a place where no one can find you, where you feel safe, a place where you can think clearly about the cards that life is dealing you right now. Don’t let this just be something you practice only when you’re locked up. Do it once you’re free. I wish I could let you all chill under my lemon tree, but I can’t. It’s sacred grounds. You need to find your own sanctuary. Find a space to think, a place where your mind can rest, and think about how you can make your future better, for you and for the ones you love around you. It will pay off. One love to all you ladies and gentlemen reading this message. There’s no obstacle or challenge that I know you won’t be able to overcome. Stay focused. OT signing out!
Thank you, OT, for sharing your safe haven with us. We truly appreciate the wisdom and story you share with us. Thanks as always for your time and work. This latest issue is full of great stories, art and commentaries. We know you will appreciate what you read and hopefully will find inspiration in the many submissions we are sharing. Please do not hesitate to reach out if we can be of further support. We love to hear from you, inside and out! Lastly, if you know of anyone interested in volunteering with The Beat Within, please pass the message on. Check out the flyer on this page!
Wishing you all nothing but the best. Thank you all for your time and work. You all make this special issue that much more important and we can’t thank you enough. Stay in touch, be well…