by Q. Paige, San Quentin State Prison, CA
Something that is equally hard to receive as well as give. Some might even think they’re not even deserving of it. Webster Dictionary defines “Forgiveness” as to give up resentment, pardon. Webster Thesaurus defines it as, release from the guilt or penalty of an offense.
With both of these definitions do you feel you can give or receive forgiveness? Me personally I can give it all day, but I’m one of those who feels they’re not deserving of it. I’ve made some horrible mistakes in my life, some to where some might say I’m unforgivable. So that’s why I see myself as not deserving.
Thank my lucky stars for Jesus, a man and deity that gave his life so that all can be forgiven. Webster used the word pardon as defined as “excuse of an offense without penalty.” What sticks out to me in that definition was without penalty. Sometimes a lot of us believe we should be pardoned, but are we really deserving of it? That’s the question you need to ask yourself. Usually those who have a conscience are those who believe they are not deserving of forgiveness or pardon. Let me clear something up. I believe everyone has a conscience, but only a slight few use it.
Today, I was told that guilt can be a good thing sometimes. For example, say you steal something from someone you feel really guilty about it, you go and return what you stole or you make sure in your future you never do it again. That’s guilt but used in a positive way. When you don’t feel anything is when you should start to worry.
Can you give forgiveness? Can you really pardon someone? A lot would like to think they can but what really stands out again is “without penalty.” We can say we forgive someone ‘till we’re blue in the face but we believe they are deserving of some punishment some way, somehow.
One act of forgiveness really stood out to me when this lady cop walked in an apartment and shot an unarmed Black man. When she was on trial the family of the Black man said she didn’t deserve a lot of time and that they forgive her. The brother
even hugged her before they led her off to jail. I can’t say I would do the same because my brother was shot and killed and I wanted so much to find who did it and punish them myself.
Do I feel that way now? No. I do pray that they have forgiven themselves and can live with the fact that they took a great man from this world. I can honestly pardon them but go as far as hugging them? I’m still working on that. Everybody wants forgiveness, but I don’t think everyone wants to give it.
In conclusion, it’s the hardest thing to give as well as receive, but if we can all learn to forgive one another “Without penalty…” there wouldn’t be so much resentment in the world.