ghost, San Mateo
I’ve never really felt guilty about anything except this one evening. I was fresh out from school around 3 o’clock, my friends only had six periods, so they were already out and waiting for me at the yard. My boy from school, J and my other friend from another school approached me. J told me he just copped a few bars (Xanax) to flip. So, I was like damn let me cop some and he said it was good, so I bought four and popped them right there. So, we went to this park right there, like down the street type thing. We chilled, made some sales and burned it for a while.
Then after a while, some big homies swooped us to kick it. As I stepped in the whip the bars started to hit, so I basically didn’t remember anything and ended up being a person who I’m usually not. To let you know these bars were pressed, so that means they’re pressed, and by that, I mean instead of it having Alprazolam like prescribed bars do, it was pressed with fentanyl or I don’t know, but J and I didn’t know. Back to the story, me in the whip, I don’t remember anything besides looking at the car floor beside a homie. That was the only thing I remember that day.
We all basically kicked it the entire day whipping it until I had a soccer game. The homie and I went to go watch it. Next, I saw a video of what happened after the game, so this is why I know. So, after the big homies dropped us off and we watched the game. Brother, and I were in the locker room. I kept bothering J about buying more bars because I thought I lost them. J was getting annoyed. At some point, I crossed over this bench in the locker room. I ended up accidentally knocking his clothes on the floor when I crossed over the bench. J got heated and then told me to leave it there, but I reached down to get them. He grabbed the clothes and kind of pushed me over. In the video, it doesn’t look like it was a bad push, but I was so barred out that I leaned over and fell on my face and butt up. On the video it was so funny, after falling I got up and was mad. I guess so I grabbed his Jordan’s and threw them. They ended up getting stuck between a fence high up and a janitor had to get them down for him.
What I was kind of told happened next is that the soccer coach came in and asked me what I was doing and I responded with slurring words. Next thing you know, I am in the basketball game chilling with the thugs and some females. Some stuff came up to me talking about, I needed to leave the premises for they will call 12 or something. I started dummy trippin’ and started cussing them out or something and called them racist and sexist. After, I walked up to the middle of the court in the middle of the game and spit on it and walked away while they started to clean the court after stopping the game.
As I was walking out, I had more problems with teachers and staff and tried to take off on the vice principal. Luckily, my mom was able to pick me up before the cops came. I didn’t remember any of this, but this was what I was told. I would go more into context about the way I did more dumb and stupid things that night in school but those other things that I did are way too extra, so I’m not going to get into that right now.
So, my mom and I went home, and I guess I went to sleep right away. Later, when I woke up early the next morning I was sober, but still lightweight, I felt something, I was very confused about how I got home, why it was so late, and what happened. Because after school when I popped the bars was the last thing I remembered. I got up confused and headed to my mom’s room after getting up from the couch aka my bed.
Her door was open, and I could see her under her blankets, crying a lot trying to be quiet. And that moment I felt so guilty for doing her wrong and I wish she never saw me like that. The moral of the story is just the guilt I felt for making my mom cry and feel down so much. My mom never cries, and she hates drugs so damn much, so this hit me and her in very different ways negatively.