Afraid Of Change

by Yoshua, San Mateo I’m going to write about the “Afraid of Chance” topic we had in The Beat Within. Answering the question about looking at my life in the big picture or the little things in life that need work. I honestly looked at it in the big picture, but I don’t think there are any little or big things that need changing in my life. At least I see it that way. Maybe there are other people in my life that don’t.  To answer the question on why I’m afraid to change is, well actually, I don’t think

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My Last Chance To Make This Right

by Bradley, Sonoma I was sentenced to placement, but though if I just did my absolute best through the program and not allow my anger to come out, I could just be the same person when I got out.  I would describe that mindset that I was in as the “fake it ‘till you make it” attitude. I didn’t truly want change for myself, but after a few months of doing good, and “faking it,” without working on myself, I snapped.  I was just putting the anger, the regret, and the sadness that I was building up further and further

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I Am My Worse Enemy

by E, Sacramento I’m my own worst enemy, simply because I feel like I give up on myself a lot. Like sometimes, I will start to do something and then halfway through it, I’ll just give up on myself and get lazy and lose all my confidence.  Even not just doing things, but even when I’m in here. I struggle with myself in my own mind and start to think about all the things I’ve done and beat up on myself. And I get down and out a lot.  I’m also my own worst enemy because I do a lot

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A Chance

by Michael Mackey The person who deserves a chance from me is my daughter, Adriana. I guess you can say I want a second chance, and please let me break it all down. I raised her. I was there for her growing up, as a baby, changing her diapers, making meals, and bottles. I learned how to do her hair all because of her. I couldn’t stand it when someone was doing her hair, tightly, or hurting her, that drove me crazy.  See my daughter is light skin, a red bone some would say, so she turns all shades of

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Grandma Cried

by Jesse Ayers, San Quentin State Prison, CA I stood in my grandmother’s kitchen watching her cry. I could have reached out and put my hand on her shoulder. All I had to do was step over to her and I could have put my arm around her. The idea of hugging her never crossed my mind at all. Growing up in my house, I never saw anyone cry. There was hysterical laughter, annoying screeching and girls shrieking. Occasionally my dad would show-up and who knew what type of mood he would be in, when the roar of a lion

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Forks In The Road

by Anthony Billings, Pleasant Valley State Prison, in Coalinga, CA They say hindsight vision is 20/20 and it’s hard not to agreeSo in this year of 2021 this is written to help guide and leadTime travel is not an option, otherwise I would have planned itTo go back to the seeds of my mistakes and prevent them from being plantedAlthough it’s too late for me and in a sense past my curfewThese lines are not meant for me but rather to be read by youStrive to excel in school because your grades actually matterAlso, maintain a healthy sense of humor,

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