by Chad Fitzpatrick, MCF Stillwater, Bayport, Minnesota
Where do I want my life to go? How do I want to be remembered? What’s my endgame? This is about my journey thought the prison system. I’ll never paint a pretty picture of prison because it is not. Some days are worse than others and prison is a violent place. It is my experience and opinion that the system is cruel and it is designed to humiliate us. It is their goal to prove that we’re nothing and we have given up in the name of discipline and punishment.
In prison, I’m known as my last name and prison number. I don’t want to be deemed that way. I don’t want to be known for just my crime and punishment. I want my life to mean something. I want people to see me as someone who did good with his time. But have I done? What have I accomplished on this journey? What good things could people say about me?
Sure, I worked in the kitchen, as a canteen worker a unit painter, an education tutor, in the infirmary as an offender care attendant taking care of those on hospice care and after my TBI (traumatic brain injury) I’ve been in mental health groups, but those were just jobs. But what is it that I’m working toward? Getting out, that’s obvious. But why? Why do I want that second chance at life in the free world for?
I have a belief in my soul that if I handled myself the right away during my journey through the prison system then I could and will get that second chance and get out of prison and live a good life. I’ve already taken the first steps to turning my life around.
• I’ve accepted reality/prison and my responsibility for it.
• I want to change and I’m putting in the world to change.
• So I keep on asking myself what do I need to do today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life to get that second chance? So I came up with a plan to help guide me through this journey and by doing so I’ve taken charge of my life.
My Plan For A Second Chance
-Identify my faults that led me to prison
-Build a strong support network and then use them
-Always seek out advice
-Remain a lifelong learner to gain knowledge and understanding
-Always demand my worth in all aspect of my life
-Respect other people’s time
-Mind my own business
-Live a balanced life
My greatest accomplishment through this journey is going to be molding myself into a successful person and reaching my endgame. So what’s my endgame? To get to be a changed man. I know I will get there if I continued to put in the work, dream the reward (my freedom) and know that I can find some peace of mind in this hellhole called prison.
A Second Chance
As I’m writing this, I’m only days away from reaching my endgame and that second chance after 20 years on this journey through the prison system and starting a new journey in my life as a changed man in the free world.
Along my journey I’ve had people who have judged me and criticized me for trying to make a different in my life. But there also have been people who haven’t judged and criticized me and that feeling of not being judged but being spoken to and treated like a person is powerful, very powerful.
So in closing, I leave you with this to think about. What do you really want to do with your life? What do you want people to say about you when you’re gone? I encourage you to be connected and focused on self-improvement.
Read, study and rise. That’s knowledge. That is the power of you!