by Cam, Santa Clara I know I been in and out of the hall. But sometimes I got to make poor decisions. I didn’t choose to live the “life of a criminal.” This life chose me. I know it sounds like I’m blaming something else for my decisions, but it’s true. Some staff in the hall say that I been through some very hard stuff that a normal person would of killed themselves going through the same thing I did, from twelve years old all the way to now. I try to help my mom out with rent. I didn’t
Continue ReadingYear: 2020
It Is OK To Ask Someone For Help
by Angel Ruelas, Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga, CA Playing sports has always been my identity. I remember running home from elementary school, just so I could get ready for my little league baseball games. I played all sports, from baseball, football, soccer, wrestling to even being on a swim team called Soledad Sharks. I just enjoyed wearing all of the uniforms and feeling like I was a part of something that was much bigger than me alone. I recall when playing football back then that I would put on my cleats and a rush of excitement would start
Continue ReadingSecond Chances
by Ernesto Alvarez, Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga, CA How many second chances do we get in life? I have laid here in my prison cell thinking about that many times. I am not just talking about second chances in life after you have done something that completely derailed the course of your life, like taking your freedom, but even the second chance in life that may seem so irrelevant at the time like going back and finishing school. Second chances are what make life worth living because it is what drives us to become better people if we
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Volume 25.43/44
Please contact Lisa Lavaysse if you would like to purchase the full PDF or a printed copy of this issue.
Continue ReadingEd Note 25.43/44
Greetings frends! Welcome to another amazing double dose edition of the one and only The Beat Within! We are truly proud of the great work you are about to read inside this important issue of writing and art. As was the case in the last couple issues, we have asked our dear friend and colleague, Omar “OT” Turcios to write this latest editorial note. FYI, as this issue goes to print, we are still uncertain as to who will be president of the USA going into the new year. What a week! Watching the numbers and hearing and reading about
Continue ReadingNo Stranger To Rejection
by B, Sacramento I know what it feels like to be rejected. I feel like I’m nobody. I’m living and alive, but I feel invisible. And when I feel like that, I think why does everybody do that, I never did nothing to them before. It’s not that it’s that they don’t like you. And they hate on everything you. I been rejected so many time. I stay to myself. Nobody bothers me. I like being that way so I can figure out all my thoughts when they seem like I’m invisible. I stay that way because every time you
Continue ReadingHopelessness
by JO, Yolo You ever turn cold because you only feelin’ hopelessHad so many patnas now I’m wondering where they all wentThey love always counterfeitEverybody said they know me now, they don’t cause I’m callin’ emYou ever looked yo’ mama in the eyes her tears can’t stop fallingSending letters through the mail and none coming back to meMy own family got no loyalty because what I’ve doneThey think they deserve apologiesThey don’t want me in society I’m a monster in the’ eyesI’m gettin’ life and it’s a probabilityMy chance of freedom like a ninja winning lotteriesI’m the ninja who be
Continue ReadingPart 1, Chapter 4: I’m Not a Victim, I’m a Survivor
by AP, San Diego Later that night, I got away from the police at the McDonald’s. When we got away, my homie drove us to his house to kick it. After I took a shower, I went to the freezer and grabbed a full bottle of Jack Daniel’s. I started chugging the bottle to fill up the void I felt in my heart. Choosing to go on the run affected my life in so many ways. It was hard for me not knowing where I was going to sleep or where I will get my next meal. I partied a
Continue ReadingRedemption Through Rejection
by Floyd D. Collins, San Quentin State Prison I am humbled to be able to share life lessons and my experience through writing. In my lifetime I have suffered as well as endured rejection. What I’ve found to be very important is how I’ve reacted or responded when rejected. My life of crime is grounded on being rejected. I was a young man when my ex-girlfriend had an affair with a very close friend. I couldn’t comprehend why the two of them would hurt me in such a way. Back then I had zero coping mechanisms to deal with the
Continue ReadingThank You Beat!
by Brotha Dee, San Quentin State Prison in San Quentin, CA Hello friends it’s your partner Brotha Dee. I pray that all is well with you and your families as you read on. I know that today is the day to spit fire at the corruption in power, however this day I’m going to sip on some cool water and give props where props are due. The Beat Within, Brotha Dee would like to say, Thank You! What for Brotha Dee? Huh, I’m glad you asked. Thank you for being a friend who over 24 years ago create a consistent
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