Welcome Welcome to our year-end double issue, 25.49/50, of The Beat Within. It is such an honor to have completed 50 issues of The Beat Within during such a challenging time in all of our lives. We are incredibly thankful to all of you contributors who have stepped up to create and share with our amazing community this past year. We are also eternally grateful to all of our partners, colleagues, and supporters because without you all there is no program. Thank you ALL for believing in the work, as we prepare to enter our 25th year of service! Can you believe that?? 25! Yes, 25 years of giving voice and producing this one of a kind publication that has and continues to touch lives inside and outside of the system. The Beat goes on!
As an essential program (before, during, and after COVID) to our readers and writers, we can’t thank everyone’s efforts in getting the magazines to our readers. Again, a big thanks to our partners for making our weekly workshops possible! Yes, we have been goin’ virtual! We know it’s not easy for any of us, but almost 10 months into this virtual piece, we are figuring out what works and what is not working. Big props to the staff inside our various institutions and CBOs, doing their part, amongst many other obligations, to create for our young people a pleasant setting to conversate, discuss topics, reflect, and write. FYI, Since COVID, we have not gon’ inside and have had to truly partner with the good people who are inside. We send everyone inside – teachers, counselors, and COs – big love for all you do. Please stay safe and healthy. We need you all in a good place this coming year, 2021!
Now, what will 2021 hold? Only time will tell. None of us were prepared for what we have lived through in 2020, but we all are resilient and have managed to get through the year. It will definitely be a time in our lives that we will never forget. What is something about this past year that you will hold onto? We’ll never forget how many good people rallied around our work with support and here we are today on the cusp of entering our 25th year of service. Thank you.
We want to wish you all a wonderful holiday season and an even better 2021! We want to dedicate this powerful issue to every one of you! You being the writer, the artist, the typist, the editor, and the workshop facilitators. The work is truly a community and team effort, and all your efforts make up for one of the most powerful and one of a kind publications out there, The Beat Within. We can’t thank you enough for the courage you have to share with our community. Please stay in touch going into 2021, we want to hear from you, inside or outside. There is truly a place for you and we embrace the chance to being a part of this ride with you.
We leave you with those familiar words, stay safe, healthy, social distance, wash your hands, and stay doing the right thing!! Much love, always… Now allow us to pass the keyboard to our dear friend, OT, as he will take this editorial note home!
I would like to welcome you, readers and writers, to another double edition of The Beat Within. This is our special end of the year edition and once again we managed to reach 50 double issues for the year!
First off, my name is OT reporting live from Managua, Nicaragua and I’m one of the editors here at The Beat. It’s the holidays ladies and gentlemen and I want to wish all of you a great holiday season. I know many of you are not where you want to be at the current moment, and many of you are not with your family and loved ones. Matter of fact, many of you are forced to spend the holidays with a stranger, or someone that isn’t even blood-related to you.
I know the feeling, I have spent maybe a total of 6 Christmas’s behind bars, including my years in Juvenile Hall. I’ve been locked up for 7 Thanksgivings in total. So I know how it feels like to be locked up during the holidays. It rough. For those of you who don’t know me, I was deported to my native country of Nicaragua back in December 2013, and have been here ever since, far away from my loved ones and Bay Area, which is where I grew up my entire life.
I have to admit, it gets hard at times being away from my loved ones. There are days where I don’t want to get up, not work, not wash my clothes because I still wash my clothes by hand. There are days when I feel the loneliness of not being around my loved ones. But I get to reading some of you guy’s and gal’s stories and your writing and your stories shine light on my dark days. Trust me it sucks for me too. My mom is flying out here with my little sister for Christmas, which I truly appreciate and love and I’m excited, but it’s not the same not being with ALL of my family. It’s not being the same not being able to be with my daughters, my sisters, my nieces, my nephews, my Aunt and Uncle, and my other uncle. I want to hug my family. I want to kiss and hug my loved ones. I wish I had them all here.
It’s hard not being to say what’s up to all my friends and give them dap. Even at a time when we have to social distance, I would love to be in the presence of a loved one drinking a coffee or drinking a beer sitting 5 to 6 feet away. My friends, homies, whatever you would like to call them, now that I’m older I say friends because if you still talk to me in 2021 and all the way in Central America, I consider you my friend. A handful of my friends call me on a video call and check up on me, asking me why I don’t go back to the United States illegally and believe me, if it was that easy I will. It’s not that I’m scared to go back, or cross the borders, or worry about the gangs, the violence, and kidnappings that can happen. To me, that’s the least of my worries. I just don’t go back illegally because I would get at least 5 years in Federal Prison if I get caught. It’s easy to think that I might not get caught, but I value my freedom. I don’t want to donate any more time to the system. If I go back it has to be legally. I’m through with the jail life and I would rather have my freedom far away from my loved ones than be back in the United States closer to my loved ones, but in prison.
As I sit here and think of these video calls, my friends’ pleas to go back, it definitely strikes a chord in my heart. I wish…I wish… I wish I could go back. It’s easy to think negatively. Sometimes I feel like people forgot all about me, since I’m far away in another country, just like you that may be sitting up in your cell thinking about your loved ones that PROBABLY forgot about you, but let me tell you y’all something. No one has forgotten about you. No one has written you off. It’s up to you to get yourself out of there and stay out of there.
So the reason why I share my vulnerabilities with you all is to show you that even at 35 years of age, I still have them. I have my weak moments, but I’m blessed to have you guys to inspire me, so I want to return the favor to you all. A new year is coming up. A new President is being inaugurated. There are a bunch of changes happening in this new year. Change is inevitable and if you don’t believe the hype about the New Year, just remember that tomorrow is a new day. Be a better you. Tell your loved ones you love them, and when you get out show them just how much you love them. I want you all to be strong. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be mad, but put those feelings in an invisible blender and stir them up channel your emotions into something positive.
Set some goals. Small goals. Small goals lead you to accomplish the big goals and if one of your goals is to be back with your loved ones, then make sure you do whatever it is you need to do today, so you can be with your loved ones tomorrow. I want y’all to know that even though I’m far away, I still relate with y’all and your struggle. We are all a part of this struggle and this new year I want you all to shine. The Beat loves you, I love you and we all want to see you shine. One love to all y’all. Happy Holidays, and even though you may not like where you’re at, make the most of it. Turn to your neighbor and wish them a happy holiday and bless them with some positive energy. We all need a little positivity in our lives! Much Love!