Hopelessness

by JO, Yolo

You ever turn cold because you only feelin’ hopeless
Had so many patnas now I’m wondering where they all went
They love always counterfeit
Everybody said they know me now, they don’t cause I’m callin’ em
You ever looked yo’ mama in the eyes her tears can’t stop falling
Sending letters through the mail and none coming back to me
My own family got no loyalty because what I’ve done
They think they deserve apologies
They don’t want me in society I’m a monster in the’ eyes
I’m gettin’ life and it’s a probability
My chance of freedom like a ninja winning lotteries
I’m the ninja who be running shhh you ninjas be the ones following
My head on the glass wall and my lil brother on the other side
Bumpy roads ahead of me so tell me if you down to ride
Tired of this play the role shhh wish a ninja would try
I say I’m fighting for my life but in court it ain’t much of a fight
My heart feelin’ real light I put in a letter and then I send the kite
My momma hear it in my voice and she ask if I feel alright
I can’t look her in her eyes and say what I see at night
Life moves on I’m staying put and that’s gon be the price
For the sins I committed every time God turned a blind eye
You see me smile on the out but inside already died
If I say I love you than I love you and bang it, ain’t never lied
Overtime I’ll be forgotten like a lost memory
Chose this lifestyle so what comes wit’ it is how it has to be
Going into court my lawyers asking if I’m really ready
I shake my head all I have is feelings all inside my belly
No more “lol”, felony murder is the charge in the courtroom all you hear is crying
Looking at my moms and pops they had hope but it was dying
If I asked if they had hope they say yes but I knew they was lying