Greetings friends! Welcome to another stellar edition of The Beat Within. This latest double issue is full of solid writings from our friends and colleagues (free and incarcerated) around the great state of California and beyond. It is such an honor to create this platform every two weeks and have the ability to share the art and writings from so many good hearted people, many we know and some we only know through their writing submissions. We owe a big thanks to you contributors, as you all are a part of history, when submitting your work to The Beat Within. Our one of a kind publication touches more lives than you would ever know. There is nothing like The Beat in this country and it is an honor to be doing this great work with you all for nearly 25 years! Again, welcome to double issue 25.45/46. With the winter holiday season upon us, we can’t say “thank you” enough and how grateful we are for all you give to our amazing community. A big thanks goes out to you writers who courageously step up each week, independently or during our workshop sessions, to our wonderful facilitators who show up virtually each week to lead our conversation and writing classes. To our many partners – teachers, counselors – who support and assist in making our sessions a success. Also, a big thank you to all our supporters who without your generous support none of this would be possible. Yes, as challenging as 2020 has been for all of us, we feel so fortunate to have such a great community of friends and colleagues, thank you.
This week our “new” colleague, Kurt Peterson, wrote the following piece for The Beat Within and we are thrilled to share his inspiring and thoughtful words with you all. Let’s welcome Kurt by taking a few minutes to read his words! We hope some of you reading his work will get the chance to meet him in a workshop soon. For now, let’s embrace his words!
Dear Fellow Addict in Recovery
To my fellow addicts in recovery, here are the truths I wish for you to know and believe:
The only ones who can truly know how we feel and what we are going through are those that have been in our shoes. Often, I fear that those of us that have struggled with drug addiction or alcoholism feel like we are misunderstood or unheard, as if there is something inherently terrible in us that caused us to journey down that road. But…
I know your pain. You are fresh off the streets and you are clinging to what you know. But you are afraid. Your recovery is leading you to a better life. But it is a different life. It is a life you do not know and it is the unknown that scares you.
Your old life was filled with a devil’s drug. It played tricks, lied to you, stole from you, and took from you far more than it ever gave in return. But it was familiar. It was a game you played. And you had learned and accepted the rules. You are terrified of the unknown. You cling to the familiar despite the whip in its hand.
People may wonder what holds you back? People may think that the choice is obvious. But they do not know your mind. Your mind and your ways of thinking are all you have ever known. If you let it go you think, “what is left of me”?
But you do not know, do you? That so much of you has been left untouched, unconsidered, undiscovered. You need only step into the unknown to know that you can make the unknown become known to you. You make it yours. You make it what you wish for it to be.
I know you love the people of your past. You hope with all your heart that they may keep up with you as you journey further in your sobriety. You take hold and take responsibility for what is next for you and you hope they do the same.
You have hit bottom. You can’t go any further in the direction you have previously chosen. You take courage, seek help, and turn to faith to show you another way. You look to those of your past life and you cannot comprehend why they do not change direction with you.
But you see, although you have reached the end of this version of your life, and although you allow faith and hope to steer you to a different path perhaps others have not reached their end. No one has the same end. No one is brought to their knees in the same way.
No ones story is written the same. The only way for the story to continue and the only way for hope to breathe new life into a dark path is to never stop living YOUR story.
Actions speak louder than words. There is a leader in all of us. There is a leader in you. It starts with leading ourselves. It starts with you. Take lead of your own life and trust that others will witness your faith, your hope, your audacity, and your conviction. They will be drawn to what they witness, and they will follow.
But right now, in this moment, this is your time for healing. You must focus on yourself. You are no good to others if you do not value yourself. If others are to follow, they must learn to love and value themselves. If they do not know how, then teach by example. Take care of yourself. Heal yourself. Love yourself.
-Sincerely, TheDreamHustler (aka…Kurt)
Thank you Kurt for this thoughtful piece of writing. We know your words are embraced by many, especially those in need of inspiration.
This issue goes out to all those making the turn, the change, for the better. We send our love and good thoughts to those who have moved on from our groups to the next chapter in their lives, be it prison, county jail, youth prison, group homes, camps, ranches, or even better, freedom. For those of you still with us, and are hoping to move on soon, please don’t hesitate to stay in touch. We would love to maintain a connection with you. We value your contributions now and moving forward, wherever that may be. Remember, your story matters, more so now than ever before. As we sign off, we stress the need to stay healthy, wear your mask, social distance (if possible), wash your hands and do your part to help beat COVID. Sending you all virtual hugs. Much love and respect, always,