by Nescia, Los Angeles
I’m Nescia, son!
Well known savage!
Gangbanging is my passion!
I wasn’t always like this,
my daddy wasn’t around,
he was in and out of prison.
My brothers were always stuck
in their troublesome ways.
My momma was always busy,
so I would post up on the block.
I wanted to be just as gangster as my brothers,
so I started banging.
I went through a lot of pain till this day but,
the barrio was always there for me somehow.
People think we have it good but we don’t,
deep down inside we are not okay.
Gangbanging is not always the way.
Homies aren’t loyal and the hood isn’t royal.
Sooner or later we will burn our bridges.
Growing up I never had shhh,
that’s why I was in rich towns looking for houses to hit.
Getting money, the legal way I didn’t think that shhh exist.
I don’t want my money slow, I want it quick.
Anger feeds my veins but, when I let it go, it’s nothing but pain.
I’m just sitting in my cell thinking what did I gain?
I’m a female with goals and dreams but, gangbanging is my thing
but I love school because my education is going to get me to where I want to be.
The system always took everything from me
but, for my freedom I will fight
because wanting to become a better person I have a right.
I just barely feel like I’m even alive.
I think to myself, how will I survive?
When I’m always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I took my responsibilities for my actions because it’s nobody else’s fault.
I chose to love the street life.
Never really had a connection with my family
but, the homies showed me how to eat.
Ogeez told me if you want to survive in the streets, you have to be quick
to get up on your knees.
“You got heart for the hood Nescia
you showed us your ain’t weak.”
My people always judged me because of the way I am.
People look at me different because of my gang ties.
It’s all on me and I love the life that I live.
If I’m living the life of crime, I take it like a gee and do the time.
My life’s been really tough, you see who’s real when shhh starts to get rough,
I made it through the storm to see the sun.
So many lonely days but I ask for forgiveness for my gangster ways.
My brothers were hood, that’s just the way I was raised.
My momma tried her best but, all she went through was nothing but pain.
It hurts to see her cry so I rather not be home.
I have a lost soul, I rather be alone,
take it to the lungs and be all stoned.
Please don’t judge me, I’m not what it seems.
I’m book smart and street smart and always will be.
I’m just a fallen soldier and I hope you see. WHO AM I?
I’m Nescia, a real hurt gangster.