by JB, San Mateo
Everyone who knows me calls me JB. Let me tell you about how my life has been for my sixteen years that I’ve been alive. It’s crazy how young I am and all the experiences and struggles I’ve been through.
I’m Salvadorian and Guatemalan. I was born at Stanford Medical Center in Palo Alto, CA., but I’ve lived all over the place. I honestly move every year to different houses and apartments.
I’m currently located up at Hillcrest (juvenile) in San Mateo for my third time and my last because I’ve got to learn how you should always listen to your parents, because if I’m being honest, they are the only ones who are going to be here for you when you’re down, locked up. None of your homies or so-called friends are going to visit you or make sure everything is alright with you while you’re locked up, and I’ve learned that because every time I’m down, locked up, they don’t seem to care. They just wait until you get out so they can hit you up to go and get into more trouble. They just seem to care about themselves, they only want to see themselves improve while everyone is at the bottom struggling.
So when I get out I’m going to cut everyone off, not talk to my so-called friends. I’m going to focus on myself, my family, and this beautiful girl that I’m glad to call my girlfriend. I’m going to get a job so I don’t have time to do all the dumb stuff that I would always do. I’m also going to get myself enrolled at school because I’m trying to get caught up with my credits because I’m trying to graduate, but it’s going to take dedication and hard work because I haven’t gone to school in a while, it’s been three to four years, and I’m in eleventh grade now. But I’m going to do it mostly because I want to show my parents that I’m capable of doing something good in my life. But mostly because I want to make them happy because lately, I’ve been stressing and worrying them with all the stuff I’ve been doing when I’m out in the streets.
Sometimes I wouldn’t come home at night and my parents would be texting or calling and I wouldn’t answer because of what I was doing out in the streets. I thought it was cool and more important than what my mom and dad would tell me but it isn’t, it’s just a waste of your time. It’s all just useless and worthless because I’ve missed opportunities like going to school events or even joining any sports. And now, it’s too late because all I have been doing is fooling around while I’ve been locked up. I’ve actually sat down and said to myself if this is what I really want in my life and it isn’t that.
I want to be a successful young man, I want to own my business or make my dad’s little car shop business grow so he can teach me how to work in cars. I can work hard for the stuff I want or need. I also want to go to college, get a Master’s degree so I can have something I can be proud of in the future. I also want to move to Florida with my girlfriend because that’s what we’ve been talking about for the longest time. I’m ready to start a new chapter in life mostly with her because she’s always been there for me through mostly all my struggles. We’ve been together for one year and a couple months but she always seems to keep a smile on my face whenever I’m down. She’s by my side to make my frown into a smile and right now that I’ve needed her because of how sick my mom has gotten. She’s been here for me but even though I’m locked up she sends me letters to keep my head high because at the end of the day my mom is getting better day by day.
Just right now she is still in the hospital recovering. She isn’t able to walk or talk at the moment but the doctors are always saying she is getting better. At first, when she first got her lungs all swollen they had to do two blood transplants. She didn’t react good to them, she was always getting fevers. She also was in intensive care and mostly she wasn’t able to breathe. She was on life support, that is what made me really start thinking about changing my life around. I need to be there for my family, mostly for my mom because after what she’s been through the whole two months she’s been at the hospital, I don’t think it’s right me being in the streets doing bad stuff while my mom is recovering.
I regret doing what I did to have made me land where I am at the moment because I want to be home when my mom comes back home. I want to see her, I honestly miss her more than ever. I got court on Wednesday. I’m hoping the judge and my probation gives me this last opportunity to make things right because I’m ready to change my life around. I’m tired of always ending up in this hell hole.
This is not what I want for the rest of my life. I want to graduate, get a job and just stay on a straight, narrow path. When I get out I’m mature enough to do things right. I’m old enough to say no to my so-called friends and just cut them off. I’m ready to do right in my life. I just want to make my loved ones proud.