To Change The Past Is To Alter The Future

by F, Sacramento

If I could go back and undo one action in my lifetime, it would be what lead me to come to the Sacramento Youth County Facility. 

Running away has always been something I was good at. I would pretend as if I was going to school only to go to the park and plan my next step. 

The sad part was I would always return one way or another, but not this time. My day started like any other normal persons. I woke up, showered, went to my kitchen to get breakfast made for me and my younger siblings, then brushed my teeth. 

I put on cartoons for my siblings to watch while I helped my sisters do their hair. When the time came, I escorted my twelve-year old sister and eleven-year old brother to the bus. Thirty minutes later, I did the same to my younger brothers and waited for them to board the bus while kissing them goodbye. 

Then, it was time for myself to go and my younger sister who went to middle school. Our walks are always quiet, seeing how we both like to watch the sunrise and the birds chirp. When we reached our destination, I saw her off and headed for school. 

I talked to my friends like I usually did and started walking to first period when I heard the bell. But at that moment, my friend J comes up to me and says he has to discuss something important. So the two of us boys decide to ditch school and head for the park that’s behind the school. 

When we reached the snack tables, we sat down on the far right side. I then asked, “what’s so important that it meant skipping first period?” 

He then tells me he stacked up two hundred dollars and we should run away again. 

To be brief, the first time we ran away together was on Halloween Day, when I wouldn’t be allowed to go trick-or-treating. I was upset about that, so the three of us which includes T, skipped school, setup camp at the park and did make up for our costumes. We had so much fun, we ended up falling asleep at the park. 

We woke up and decided it was time for breakfast, which was candy. Later on in the day, they wanted to go home. And one thing lead to another, and I ended up in a mental hospital. The fact that he wanted to recreate that moment made me mad. I told him he was out of his mind, but I ended up agreeing to it anyway. 

I called T to see if she was up to it, and she agreed. We went to Walmart, bought supplies, and set off to an abandoned cabin I found the first time I ran away with them. We lasted three days if I’m not mistaken, and I decided to do harm, for who knows what, and ended up in shackles on my way to YDF. 

So here I am, writing about the whole situation. If I could have taken a different course, I should have stayed home all together. The way I see it, is me and J have a lot of classes together, so if I didn’t encounter him in the morning, it would have been in the afternoon. 

By staying home, I could have not been tempted to go with him. But how would that work? How am I supposed to stay home, knowing that that day would have been a disaster? I couldn’t control not seeing him, and I doubt I could have said no. 

But in the course of a different direction, I would have to tell him no. if that would had happened, I would have went on with my day. Attending classes, making arrangements with clubs, and spend time on the game system. I would have been locked up at home, dealing with the Coronavirus as almost everyone else was doing.

But in that course, I wouldn’t have met a brand new world of people. I made so called “friends” at my time here at YDF, and enemies. I wouldn’t have had unlocked the other part of myself had it had not come to me harming another person. 

It’s not a good feeling being locked up, but none of what I had accomplished here would have taken place on the outs. I read countless books in here than I knew of but would never give it a second glance. 

Chronicles of Nick, Twilight, Percy Jackson, Kane Chronicles, Vampire Diaries, Heroes of Olympus, The Walking Dead, Fallen, Trials of Apollo, and so much more. I wouldn’t have found out I’m into mythology or the studies of stars. I liked the idea of cooking, but had it not been for this place, who knew how long I would have to wait. 

I believe the decisions we make in life lead to one big conclusion. It’s hard knowing that I will be serving a couple of years, but I get to attend school, go to college, read books until my head explodes, and meet other people who understand the same situation that I’m in. 

Of course there are a few things that I don’t want to happen. Such as missing birthday parties, funerals, family get-togethers, and real food. But life isn’t perfect, and I need to make the most out of what I have. I needed to have made a better decision than serving time, but another part of myself is telling me to be open to the new experience.

How many people could say they made a life out of lockup? I’m already a senior heading off to college. So much has happened so fast, I could barely keep up. Fate has lead me to my course and I’m doing destiny a favor by cooperating. So, in the end, I didn’t want to change this mistake or any other, because I don’t know if I’ll like that outcome. I’m happy with the life I have here.