by T
How do I respond to compliments given to me? Hmm, I mean, I am not really fond of compliments nowadays because somewhere deep down inside me, I have a feeling that these compliments aren’t true. When people tell me that I’m doing good or whatever, I don’t pay it no mind. I just say, “thanks,” and go about my day. Because how else am I supposed to take a compliment?
By repaying that same person with a compliment too? Nowadays, that’s something that is hard to do. Because people are deceiving. One minute they say that they care about you, and the next they turn on you and act like they don’t know you. Now if it was my family, that would be different. Because I know they care.
And I care about them too, because they are people that raised me and gave me things that no one else did. Yes, I am amazing and outstanding at giving compliments, but I do it when I know that I can trust someone.
But those times are completely rare. Because I feel like if I don’t know you and you don’t know me, and you are giving me a compliment. Of course, I am going to assume that you are insulting me instead.
I had it happen to me before. One time, my hair was braided and one morning a woman walked up to me and asked, “Who braided your hair?” But the way she said it made me keep quiet.
A few seconds later, she told me to have a good day, and walked away, snickering. Humans are so confusing, but I’m a human of my own. Yes, but I am not as confusing as humans today.
Ever since that day, I stayed quiet and told myself to keep the giving compliments to a minimum. So no, I’m not an expert at taking compliments. I’m better at giving compliments than I am at taking them, because at least my compliments are true.
If there is something I like about you, I’ll keep it solid and let you know straight up. If not, then I keep quiet. I wish that others would follow this example. The world would be a better place. There is an old (but not that old) saying that goes, “if you ain’t got nothing nice to say, don’t say nothing at all.”
Today, people override that rule by saying something nice about you, but their body language is saying the opposite. I’m just as fond as giving compliments as receiving them. Like I said, I only compliment those I trust and grew up around. And I hardly trust anybody for that matter. Because people in the outside world are deceiving.
I don’t usually talk about God like I used to, because when I do, people I don’t know and trust act like they know who He is, but don’t abide by His laws, but want to have the audacity to make their own and wreak havoc on His people.
But, there is a God and He is great. But anyway… I am not trying to be harsh, I just wish that society would just learn to stop going around being hurtful to themselves and each other physically and mentally.
I’m not trying to say, “Oh, let’s reunite and come together and be friends!” No. All I am saying is to be cordial if you can’t be friends. Or don’t want to be, like me. I don’t have friends, but I don’t have enemies, either.
And it’s an extraordinary experience. I tell people this all the time and they look at me and say that my life is so miserable and lonely. But, I don’t pay attention because I know how having no friends is beneficial to me now, and hopefully in the future.
When I give a compliment to someone, it’s usually to someone I love or even better, God himself. In a couple of more sentences, I will explain why it’s so easy to give a compliment to my loved ones and the Lord.
For one, I know that my loved ones know what’s really best for me and they always keep me on their mind when they come up on something.
And I know that they know that whenever they are in trouble, or facing everyday battles, I’m going to be there, and they will always be on my mind. Same thing with the Lord.
Then on top of that, I know how to be honest with what I say, and for me being seventeen, that’s a plus. Because even kids have trouble with giving and receiving compliments. Mostly giving.
There is a reason behind that. Also, either they weren’t taught manners and how to be respectful, or maybe they are just insecure and was never taught to learn to love and accept themselves and others.
But, it’s not their fault that they choose/chose to be the way most children are today. That’s what I’m here for, to make them understand how to be cordial and also, keep a muzzle over their mouth they are being harmed by someone else who is also in pain.
Because of the lack of love they were given in their childhood. I am here to make other children understand that pain is a disease. Pain spreads. And sometimes, you just have to suck it up like a sponge when it is submerged in water.
But, whoever choose/chose to let it go in one ear and out the other, I can’t do anything about it. Like I said, I’m not trying to make or have friends. I’m just trying to give others advice on what I’ve experience with the whole “compliments” thing.
It’s good to be nice, but in order to do that, it starts out with being honest. And honestly and respect gets you very far. I had to learn how to be respectful and honest on my own.
I could tell everyone about that experience, but that would make a whole book instead of two pages. Let me just say, it was very tedious at first. People say, scientifically speaking, that it’s worse to think hurtful words than it is to say them.
But, me arguing with this statement, it isn’t true. Because we (humans) don’t know what we are thinking, whether it’s good or bad. But, if you blurt out how you feel, then it’s a different story.
It might not haunt you at that very second, but it will later. Then, you have that feeling in your brain, body, heart, and sometimes, soul, that you wished you never said what you said and that feeling lingers.
That feeling is called multiple things, such as regret, shame, guilt, and sometimes, fear. I have to admit I made the same mistake before, felt the same four feelings, also.
Never wanted to feel that way again. So, I tried and tried and tried my best to learn to “bless those that curse me.” Still learning to this very day. And every single time I fail at an attempt, I get back up and try, try again.
Somebody once told me the acronym to “fail” and “fear”. It is okay to fail because it is your “first attempt in learning.” And fear is “face everything and recover.” I think about both of these when I get upset, when someone, who is also hurt or having a bad day at work, hurts me with an insult that’s an opposite of a compliment or the other way around.