Happy New Year, readers and writers of The Beat Within! For our first issue of 2020 we’re showcasing more reflections from our high school student interns, who have been hard at work transcribing pieces that come to us through adult institutions for The BWO (Beat Without) section. This issue we’re highlighting two students from Urban High School of San Francisco, Robyn and Veronica. Robyn writes about the way her transcriptions have changed her perspective: how deep care for and commitment to another’s story can transpire in unlikely places. In Veronica’s reflection, she details the challenges that came with transcribing writing from prisons, as the stories are often emotionally intense and impactful. We extend our deepest gratitude towards Robyn and Veronica for their work and dedication to The Beat!Â
An Inspiration
In my process of transcribing various excerpts and writings, I was able to pick up a variety of feelings: longing, tiredness, forgiveness, acceptance, reminiscence and many others. However, I think the general feeling I was able to pick up was that being able to write down your stream of consciousness, or pour your heart out onto this piece of paper was something that is irreplaceable. It is something that a lot of these individuals need in order to feel free within their incarceration.
One writer that moved me was Ms. Latrice Thomas. In her ‘Valentines’ piece, she wrote about her twisted ‘love’ that she had with her former, abusive partner. She suffered so much when she was “a child raising a child.†She couldn’t love her child the way she would have wanted to under different circumstances. She was lost. This piece struck me because Ms. Latrice Thomas was able to forgive her abuser and herself.
After being in and out of jail, she was able to let her destructive past fall like a heavy gown off her aching shoulders. She was able to breathe fully and deal with her suffering. After removing the heavy veil that covered the truth, she was able to see that her child was the one thing that she wanted.
This transformation is hard. This acceptance of the past and grasping for a brighter future is hard. The future is something that you can’t control, however the way you spend your life is something you can control. Before, Ms. Latrice Thomas was feeling out of control of her own voice, body, existence. But now, she can excel, she can be the woman she has always wanted to be, and the mother that her child has always needed. She did this through accepting herself with her whole heart.
This witty and moving piece inspired me. The way she can accept her past, and breakthrough her depression, it makes me feel as though we are all able to recreate the way we think about ourselves. I think that a lot of the times, girls, especially, have a hard time to accept themselves. I am always trying to fix myself and tell myself to be happy. Saying it doesn’t make it happen. Ms. Latrice Thomas inspired me to be the woman who I have always wanted to be. She is brave and honest with herself and I want to be like her when I am older.
The Beat Within virtually transformed the way I think about the system of incarceration. As a privileged woman living in San Francisco, CA, I was able to distance myself from individuals within the prison system and remove any connotations, leaving a sense of numbness towards people living in this experience. When I started working with The Beat Within, I was unknowingly facing the truth that these incarcerated individuals are human. Perfectly normal, funny, unique, kind, generous, loving, tired human beings.
I want to thank The Beat Within for helping not only incarcerated individuals, but also positively impacting people like me, who are lucky enough to have stumbled upon them.
-Robyn from Urban High School in San Francisco, CA
Perception of Distance
Before I began my work with The Beat Within, I didn’t know much about either the justice system or the lives of incarcerated people in America. Criminal justice was not something I have learned about in school, and the only book I have read about the prison system was one that I picked up for free at a garage sale. That book was Dead Man Walking by Helen Prejean, and I didn’t even know it was about the prison system until I read it. The book told the story of a man condemned to the death penalty. It opened my eyes to how corrupt and convoluted our criminal justice system is, and I was shocked that I’d never been taught anything about the justice system as a whole, let alone the death penalty.
I wanted to volunteer for The Beat Within because I wanted to learn more about the personal experiences and perspectives of incarcerated people. It had bothered me that I never saw incarcerated people in the media and had never heard the unfiltered thoughts and experiences of someone in prison. Their lives felt very separate from my own, and the fact that I had never heard the perspective of someone in prison made my perception of distance between myself and someone in prison even bigger.
I had no idea what to expect from the first packet (of writings) I received from The Beat. I had no clue what the authors were going to be writing about, or how it would feel to read their work and then to type it up.
Reading my first letter, I was surprised by how personal and compelling the writing was. I did not expect to relate so strongly to a person who had such a strikingly different life story than my own. The writing was very raw and honest, and the author did not hold back when describing not only the regret and shame he felt about his specific situation, but also the love and hope he felt towards a younger member of his family. I deeply admired the courage the author must have had to look that deep within himself and write something so personal that strangers could read. It was very different from anything else I’ve ever read. The writing was extremely emotionally charged. I was also grateful to be able to read something so reflective and wise, and I understood then why The Beat Within’s work is so important. Without The Beat, incarcerated people would not be able to share their stories so easily, and their valuable perspective and insights would go unheard.
Some of the writing was so emotionally intense that it was hard to read and type up. Most of the work I transcribed had heavy and often dark themes. It was hard to transcribe these parts of the stories because the most intense content often came up out of the blue. I would not be expecting the author to suddenly talk about something intense, and then the next second I would be reading something that had a huge emotional impact on me. I often had to sit and think about the work for a little while before I was able to type it up.
However, I loved being able to reflect on the writing. The pieces gave me a valuable insight into the lives of imprisoned people. Their work was always very well written and very thought provoking. I loved the honesty and openness in all the pieces I transcribed, and it made me wonder about my own way of communicating. Overall, I’m very grateful to have had this experience with The Beat Within.
-Veronica, Urban High School in San Francisco, CA
We are incredibly grateful to have this wonderful partnership with Urban School and to work with such thoughtful students whose reflection pieces truly give us hope as we venture into the new year.
Thank you friends, enjoy the first issue of 2020. As we reflect on this past year, we could not be more proud and happy with every issue (52) we put out in 2019, our amazing partnerships, friends and colleagues who play such a valuable role in our success. May the new year bring us all happiness and good fortune, as we continue to do the important work of giving voice and sharing from one another. Please do not hesitate to reach out if we can be of any support. We would love to hear from you all. Please consider sharing your truths, your story or your art, there is truly a place for you in the pages of The Beat Within. See you all soon. Happy New Year!