Greetings friends! It is hard to believe another publication is in your hands! We complete one double issue of The Beat Within and as much as we want to sit back, take it all in and enjoy our latest production, we quickly find ourselves hard at work preparing for the next. The work of The Beat Within doesn’t stop and we can’t thank our team enough for playing such an important role in our success! Today we hand over the keyboard to OT, who will take this editorial note home. We are incredibly grateful for his time and work. He is not only a great and loyal friend, he is an amazing colleague, committed to our success. OT!!!
Welcome back to another fabulous edition of the one and only The Beat Within! You ladies and gentlemen, I need to let you know right now that I thank you for being a part of our writing community. I may sound like a broken record, but it’s a privilege to read your stories, thoughts, and ideas, because I see that we have some great minds, great souls, and great hearts contributing each week to our ‘zine!
Every time you hear from me, you may think that I’m probably getting paid to promote The Beat real hard, but honestly, this is a privilege to get to hear from you all.
The reason why I’m writing today, it’s because I have a message to share. I want you to sit back, and digest these words, because this is very important. I’m not here to change the way you think. Matter of fact, all of you are special and unique because of the way you think, but I do want to give you some positive perspective on things.
I want you to capture these words and hold them in your heart. Many of you are serving time. Some of you are not. To all the people, workshop volunteers, staff, counselors, teachers, etc. that help put out this publication all the way from San Diego to Los Angeles to Sacramento, Louisiana, New Mexico, Portland and back. I’m personally going to say thank you. This magazine is not possible, without the likes of Daniel Mendoza, Alyssa Maano, Linda Gonzalez, Adam Musser, Mike Mosko, Jose Lopez, Jennifer Tilton, Andrea Flores, Tristan Schmidt, Zoe Mosko and Simone Zapata to name a few!
I’m already breaking the rules. I’m giving shout-outs, but they contribute in ways that you don’t even see. They are the people that are behind the scenes and in the workshops! Plus, a big shout out to Big D Inocencio! It takes a special person for a vision like this. It takes a special person to believe in something that no one else believes in.
In case you didn’t know, this letter is being written from Managua, Nicaragua. In case, you don’t know who I am, my name is Omar Turcios aka. OT!
In case you don’ t know what I been through, hey that’s cool. I’m NOBODY to tell you what to do, but I’ve been to juvenile Hall – San Mateo. I told myself I would change. Unfortunately, I graduated to county jail, and then to the Federal Penitentiary. After my prison term, I got deported to my country of origin here in Nicaragua.
That last time I saw my twin daughters, was in a Federal Prison, and it was back in 2011 or 2012. It’s 2019. I chat with my daughters now. I am super far away from them. Circumstances haven’t allowed us to hook up yet.
But soak this in. I haven’t been able to hug or kiss my kids in about a good eight years. My story is not your story. You may say I don’t have kids. Maybe you have a mom, or a dad, or an uncle, or an aunt. Some of you may feel alone and feel like no one cares about you.
But I’ve been in the system long enough to know that everyone gets a visit from some type of loved one whether it be a friend, mom, dad, uncle, brother, sister, daughter, son, pastor, etc., even someone you might not even know!
When you get to jail, you think about sacrificing everything for your gang and morals and principles.
From what I read, many of you speak real confidently. Many of you say, sorry, mama I can’t change, sorry granny, whatever, but you sure as heck talk about how you get money.
So how is it that you are able to get money, but you can’t change? I don’t get it. Just say, “I don’t want to change.” But when you say that, look at yourself and be honest. How do you feel? You can make your money, but you can’t stay out for Christmas to spend time with your niece, your brother or sister, your mother or father, or your best friend!?
It’s because you don’t want to, not because you can’t. So, I’m not here to clown. I’m not here to pull your card from the deck. But I also don’t want to hear some petty excuses. I don’t’ want any of you to use your upbringing as an excuse of why you are, the way you are. I don’t want you to blame the judge, the PO’s, because you know what time it is. This is the territory that comes with this lifestyle
I do, however want to hear you say, how you want to be better than how you were raised, because that’s what it’s about. I am who I am today because of everyone I interacted with in my life, because of peers, colleagues, friends, associates, teachers, etc. but it’s not their fault because I ended up in prison and away from my family.
I made my decisions. My mom asked me one time, “what did I do wrong.” Even though in my mind, I did want to give her a whole list of what I felt like she did wrong, I didn’t want her to think that because of her I chose the street life. I just told her, “Nothing.” I said, you’re not perfect, and I wasn’t expecting you to be perfect. You tried and did a great job. I appreciate you for who you are. I chose this life, because I wanted to, and I was being real. The street life is enticing. You see it in videos, TV and hear it in the music. It looks plush! Social media has us putting Snap Chap filters on pretending to be somebody we’re not, and you already doing that in real life!
Let’s all look ourselves in the mirror. Let’s all take our eyes off CNN, Fox News, The Chronicle, The Times, USA Today, and stop reading what other people are thinking, but start processing our own thoughts, and look at ourselves on how you can be better. Focus on yourself first before you talk about the next person.
This world is not gonna get better magically. YOU, have to become better. YOU, have to be a better son, daughter, uncle, aunt, parent, friend, etc. This world starts becoming better the day YOU decide to BE BETTER.
Don’t worry about the next person. Because you are the world, and you are the future. I just hope you realize it right now and not later before it’s too late. Like my brother, David Inocencio says, “Time is of an essence.” And we are running out of time.
The Beat keeps going and going…strong! Much love for everyone going through the struggle! OT is signing out!
Thank you, OT, for sharing your words from your heart, with us readers. We truly embrace your story. We find inspiration in you to pick ourselves up and do our best to get back on track to fulfill our dreams and goals. Sending you our best, always. Friends, reach out anytime, we’d love to hear from you. Your story matters, we are listening!