We would like to welcome you readers to yet another fantastic double edition, 24.31/32, of the one and only The Beat Within! Once again we bring you the powerful OT, who truly plays a role in helping us put this publication together. We are grateful for his immense commitment to The Beat Within, as much as we are to you readers and writers who step up to share your stories and art. As most of you know, there is plenty of great writing to be read in this latest issue so have at it, but allow yourself to start with this stellar editorial note by our dear friend!
Greetings, this is OT representing for all those who find themselves battling life and all its struggles and challenges, all the way from Managua, Nicaragua. OT is once again tasked with this mini but rewarding challenge of tackling the ed’s note, but it’s always a privilege and honor.
Before I proceed, I would first like to thank everyone that had a hand in making this publication possible. There are too many names, but just know that you are appreciated. I know who you are. I may not know you personally, although I do know some, but I have a tremendous amount of love and respect for everybody that is a part of our community.
For those that don’t know me, you are probably wondering why I am writing this letter from Central America and it’s for the simple fact that I spent my entire life in the USA, since the age of three because of the civil war in my country, and then after serving a federal prison sentence I got deported back to my country of origin. That’s everything in a nutshell.
For those that know me, that little excerpt may seem like “Ground Hog Day,” but that’s just in case you are just tuning to my writing for the first time I wanted to give you that brief summary. Let me proceed with my spiel, because the last thing I want this ed’s note to be is about me. However, I do realize since I do have the privilege to address you ladies and gentlemen, I need to be willing to do the same thing you guys do, and that’s spill your truths out, throughout our pages.
I will be the first one to tell you how much I appreciate you. You don’t even know how much your words impact people. I’m all the way in Nicaragua, and you for sure impact me, but I’ve been doing something more lately than ever, because I’ve been trying to network to get The Beat Within inside one of these Universities or Institutions here.
I don’t find it crazy, but I do find it ironic how a person like me, who has been deported from the United States (SF Bay Area), would kill someone right now just so I could hug my sister, my nieces, my nephews, my twin daughters, my mom, my aunt, my uncle, etc. But every day I see people here fight with their family, say horrendous things to their brothers and sisters, and when I see this happen, I ask them why do you guys insult each other like that? I wasn’t raised like that. Is it just me? I don’t think so. I was raised to love my family, or even still aside from all of our differences and problems, I always loved my family. They weren’t perfect, but I’m not either.
So even though I’m not locked up, I am in a similar position as many of you that are. I can’t hold my loved ones physically, I can’t get to see them or talk to them when I want to. Yes, I do have my freedom, but I would trade anything to get the chance to spend time with all my loved ones. So, I see kids, youngsters, adults, all kinds of people out here, that get to see their loved ones damn near every day, but take it for granted. I see them curse each other out, argue about little stuff, but damn I hear the way they curse each other out, and I’m like “hey, you know, I would never say some shhh like that to my sister.”
Many may argue that I don’t live with my sister, so if I did, she would get on my nerves, and we would go at it. I’ll tell you guys something. I slept on the floor of a two-bedroom apartment with my uncle for years. There were a dozen of us in that apartment in Westlake, Daly City, CA . Now, I’m not talking about the adults, (‘cause they would go at it) but me and my siblings, my sister Karla, my cousin Cesar and my cousin Ana, which I consider my brothers and sisters, so remove that title of “cousin,” we would never curse each other out in that way.
We would never tell each other how much we hated each other. My sister Ana, use to take care of us. My brother Cesar is about one year younger than me, and we’ve had disagreements but he could correct me if I’m wrong and best believe I will send him a copy of this ed’s note, but we never got to the point where we insulted each other and showed hate towards one another.
Our childhood wasn’t that great, but it wasn’t that bad either. But instead of focusing on all the things you never had, focus on the things you do have. Instead of focusing on all the shortcomings of my mother, my aunt, my uncle, my coach, my teacher, I was still able to grasp something positive
Many of you write from your point of view and I get it. Many of you are victims, products of your environment, but it’s always easy to talk about the next person right? But nobody likes looking in the mirror and say, “Boy Richard, you wrong as hell for cussing out your mom.”
Because someone cusses at you, you have a right to cuss back? You probably do, if you want to stoop down to their level and you can go back and forth all day. Then you’re gonna say, “Well, he called me a this.” “So, I called him that..”
But what separates you from that other person? Tell me. Justice? Karma? Judgement day? Who are we to judge? If you accept your own faults, you will have an easier time accepting the faults of others.
I will give you an example. Last time I seen my dad was when I was three years old. My father never sent me money, or a letter, or a toy, or told me he loved me. I came here, after getting deported, and the first day I met him he was already asking me for money.
I was like damn, “I got a dead-beat dad.” But I learned something. My dad ain’t never been around someone like me, and he could learn and benefit from being around me, and I could learn and benefit from being around him. He does have some positive attributes. He’s funny, charming and considerate. It just wasn’t meant to be. Am I going to call him a dead-beat dad? ‘Cause guess what? I have kids that I left behind in Vallejo, CA. I have family I left behind in San Francisco, CA. And if they could forgive me for leaving them, then I could forgive my dad too.
No one’s focused on your short comings, but you shouldn’t be focused on other people’s shortcomings either. Focus on yourself. Focus on how you can be a better you. Shore up your areas of weakness and make them your strengths, but most importantly wake up every day and appreciate your loved ones regardless of their flaws.
Be your own worst critic. Every day wake up and tell yourself what you’re going to improve on. Don’t think about what you don’t have and think about what you do have. You have your breath, your health. You have your smile. you have the ability to change someone’s day today by telling them how much you care and trust me, when you need that support back on a day you feel down, someone you least expect is going to give you that support back, even if it’s from someone you don’t know, like me
Remember that you have to go out there and conquer the world, the world ain’t gone come to you. So, when the world doesn’t show you no love, you better go out there and show the world some love, ‘cause love conquers all. One love to everyone going through some type of struggle. The Beat goes on…
Thank you, OT, we appreciate your words. You truly come from your heart. Your love and passion speaks volumes.
All right dear friends, enjoy this amazing issue. There is plenty of inspiration inside these pages. If you are so inclined after reading, please drop us a line, share your story, your poem, your epic life story, there is a place for you! Your voice needs to be heard. We are listening!