by Harry C. Goodall
You never really realize what you have until you lose it. My life, and freedom was just as that. Freedom is something that I had placed no value on. There has been nothing I have been more careless with than giving away decades of my life. Can you imagine someone that got good grades in school, and excelled in sports, only to leave it all behind to feel a part of something else. Basically, I was chasing love and attention in the streets I grew up in. When in reality all I had to do was find the comfort of knowing that I was a very bright and energetic young man. That the world was mine in an oyster shell.
I was always the one that was proud of where I lived and loved the city that I was born in. I felt that it was the greatest city in the world. Looking for love in all the wrong places I joined a gang. The crazy part was I did have a couple older homies that told me that the life they lived I didn’t want. I took it as rejection and was more eager to be involved in gang activity.
I was a gang banger that lived for my hood. Like most people who got up and went to work in the morning I went to the local city block to hang out. I loved the attention I got from my peers when I did wrong. I turned my back on rules and laws and hurt those I loved and the community I called myself representing.
In the end my city that I fought so many other areas for is the place that sent me to prison. I had in fact been terrorizing my community and the residents of it. So, my placement in prison was just. The way I look at my situation is if anyone, I should have resentment towards my own childish thought pattern.
I should have been part of the solution instead of the problem. I ask of you to look towards the Boys and Girls Club when you feel lost. There are still organizations like the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts that can teach you life lessons. Your church will always be there as a place of refuge.
The people to look up to and seek advice are the business leaders of your communities. Not the thug hanging out on the corner that has a pistol in his belt. Because in the end, the city street you call yourself representing is who will send you to prison for destroying it.