by George “Mesro” Coles-El
All my life I heard about second chances. “This person has a second chance at life…that person earned a second chance to prove their worth…The other person gets a chance to change the world…” I am heartened by the idea of a second chance and pray it is not squandered.
However, I have never been given a second chance at anything. What I mean by that is every time I have had a chance to do a thing like work a dream job or present great work, I usually miss the shot, and can never try again. I was engaged to be married twice in my life and had no second chance either time. Technically, one could call my second engagement a second chance at marriage, but it’s not the same if it is not with the same person, but I digress. I missed an opportunity to enroll in DeVry and earn a Bachelor’s Degree in Game and Simulation Programming. I missed a chance to see the pyramids in Egypt. Now I’m in San Quentin, hoping and praying to get a second chance at freedom. Although I am an eternal optimist, my record with second chances is all losses.
In my own life, I’ve given many people second, third, fourth, and fifth chances because I believe that humanity can only thrive if we work together. I believe that communities need to be whole in order to be as effective as possible in this world. I believe in the mercy of the second chance. That mercy comes to me from the Most High, as I am given another chance every day when I wake up. I realize that no one is promised tomorrow, so when the question is asked about how I spent my last day I want to say that I woke up and gave someone a second chance. I give multiple chances unless it is no longer practical to my survival, but I pray for my enemies as if they are family. It is my only wish that all of humanity prospers, and that we all prosper together.
During my twelve years incarcerated, I have seen, heard, and read about thwarted second chances. A good friend of mine went to the parole board after twenty-four years inside, got found suitable, then had his date taken the day before he was due to come home. He made all sorts of arrangements, his family had all these plans, and the governor took his date at the eleventh hour with no reasoning given. My friend was devastated and me along with him, but he took some time to come to grips, and presses on today, still helping, still working for good. A few people who empathized with his crushing defeat wondered why he did not go plum spinning off the axle. He said that this was a chance to give the justice system another chance to release him, and that it gave him another chance to examine his life.
Those ideas intrigued me in a real way. Instead of protesting or doing anything negative, he forgave the denial and offered a second chance. I had to sit with that for awhile, wondering if I had the strength of character to feel that way after losing freedom at the last possible instant. Truth be told, I don’t know if I could, but I know I would try. That kind of positivity and hope should be fostered and increased so it can spread to the rounded corners of the Earth. That kind of positive energy can change the world.
So as I sit here, hoping and praying for a second chance at life, through a request of commutation of sentence, I can write about having hope in the second chance. I would like a second chance to make things right with the victims of crimes everywhere. I would like a second chance to get married and have children. I would like a second chance to be a teacher. During my time inside, I have had another chance to delve into my childhood trauma and drama, from bullying in school to severe discipline. I have had another chance to examine my ideas and motives to figure out why I committed the crimes I’ve done. I have had another chance to sit in the fire of my poor decisions and connect them to my personal aims and goals, both of which were shaped by my upbringing and interaction with humanity. I have had another chance to use my creativity to study my emotions and triggers and turn something harmful into something good. In a way, prison has helped me to become a better person, but that is only because of the time to reflect, time I could have taken at any time, without the burden of incarceration and its vicissitudes. Prison is not a rite of passage. All it takes is a real desire to make your life better. Don’t get my wrong, I know people who are living the dream of the second chance and I am so happy for them, but the reality is that those few are few indeed, for these plantations must stay full. America has assassinated presidents to keep slavery in tact. Slavery is now called mass incarceration, just as colored people are now called people of color.
Be that as it may, all people should be given at least a second chance. If humanity is to improve and unite, mercy and forgiveness must be in the mix. I have to work on this as well. Since living in the past keeps enemies, perhaps I will give mine another chance. If there is only today, then the only real hope is for a better tomorrow because tomorrow is a second chance at today.