by Lil Ice
So Much (Song)
It’s a lot of shhh I done been through
I just got to keep it lit and continue
I can’t do no stopping
I got to stay solid
So much pain every day, I don’t stop hurtin’
I want to live but sometimes I feel I’m not worth it
The higher power show me love but it’s not mercy
But then again, I’m still alive so that’s God workin’
I know God real but sometimes I question
If you there, point me in the right direction
‘Cause I don’t really like the life that I’m livin’
Is it some way you could help me with these feelings
I just want the hurt gone, or at least numb it
It’s mental pain but I still feel it in my stomach
I push one demon away, two keep comin’
I continue to pray and I keep runnin’
So what else can I do more
I’m by myself, tryin’ to move forward
Dealin’ wit’ this pain
I need healin’ from it today
It’s a lot of shhh I done been through
I just keep it solid and continue
It’s a lot of shhh I done been through
I just keep it solid and continue
It’s some shhh I wanna do, but it’s so many obstacles
Sometimes I wonder if that shhh even possible
Poppa say, son, boy ain’t no stoppin’ you
Momma say, baby, you don’t got a lot to lose
Just keep yo’ head up and stay strong
Keep it together, it won’t take long
So many worries, so many journeys, what is my purpose
I sit back and ask myself, am I worthy or worthless
I’m tryin’ do right, but sometimes I’m nervous
I could see the light, wait don’t close the curtains
Pain on my brain, it’s getting disturbin’
So many mistakes, I wish I was perfect
Wonderin’ about my life, thinkin’ about the trauma
Jus’ to ease the strife, I smoke marijuana
But the smoke only heal me temporarily
Feel like this pain about to kill me, this shhh scarin’ me
So much pain, so much pain
So much changed since them early ages
Wish I could go back
And make everything right
Gotta change my life, I’m tryna live for big things
Watchin my homies, they smokin me in my dreams
Nightmares got me shiverin in my sleep
Doctors diagnose me with PTSD
Inna war with the Devil, I’m tryna retreat
Demons got a hold on me dat I’m tryna release
It’s so much pain and I don’t know the cause of it
Show em a little kindness and they tryda take all of it.
-Lil Ice