by Eduardo
I came into the world crying and fighting. I really had nothing but my mom since a little kid. I grew up holding so much pain and anger inside me. I always felt like I didn’t fit in. I felt alone, like I wasn’t meant to be in this world. My only memory of my pops was of him abusing my mom. I grew up hating him and promising myself that I would never need him in my life.
After he left us, all I remember is the struggle my mom had to go through just to pay the rent and to take care of me, my brother, and four sisters. I lived with my uncles for a while – they sold drugs for a living. So growing up, I was surrounded by a lot of people who did d rugs. My mom would work most days and nights, so I had to learn to take care of myself at a young age. To me, it seemed like it was me against the world.
Though at the time I was going to school, I was always getting into trouble. Always getting suspended or expelled. Me personally, I never cared. I always loved being in the streets, and always loved to fight. I started smoking in like, fifth grade. By the time I was sixteen, I had done almost every drug you can name. It’s not something I’m proud of, but drugs really helped me to keep going. I never asked my mom for nothing because to me, she had done enough by giving me somewhere to sleep and food to eat. I started to make my own money slanging drugs and doing little “jobs.â€
At one point it really hit me that I was lost and alone like never before. I wouldn’t go home for weeks and weeks, sleeping in the streets. I knew that whenever I needed somewhere to run, my homies were always there. I started really getting into banging when I was fifteen. Me always being out in the streets and hardly ever being home, I earned my stripes pretty quick. I ended up making sure my hood always came first because I felt like they were the only ones that always had my back when I needed them.
To this day, I still see them as family and got more than enough love for them, but loving my hood so much has led me to end up being behind a cell, writing this to you guys. If I could go back, I wouldn’t change anything because I feel like I’ve learned so much from everything I’ve gone through, and I believe everything happens for a reason.
Now that I’m locked up I really am trying to straighten my life out and do good, so I can get out as fast as possible to see my mom that I love so much. I wanna get out and make it out the hood, by not doing dumb stuff anymore and trying to live a normal life. Hopefully I make it. Â