Welcome friends to another outstanding double issue, 24.19/20, of The Beat Within. Recently we’ve been publishing the reflections of our student interns from the Urban School of San Francisco. Our amazingly insightful interns have been transcribing writing from The Beat Without, and we’re ever so grateful for their time and dedication to our mission. This week, Tavi writes about how a function on his laptop allowed him a different way to access the writing from our authors, allowing the pages to literally speak for themselves, and listening to the writing as if it were meant for him. While Ben reflects on his frustration with the criminal justice system, questioning its support in actually helping incarcerated individuals change their way of thinking or behavior.
Tuning in to the Voices of Others
With my time at The Beat Within, my experiences have changed. My initial reactions when I got my first packet felt surprising to me. I was surprised about the very intense nature of the stories that some inmates told. That feeling definitely changed as now I find it much more normal to read and transcribe the writings that I get.
I was also shocked the first time I read some of the stories for the sadness and pain that I was reading about. The first packet I got had a set of poems that I typed and they were about fairly painful experiences. When I typed them, I did not feel nearly as immersed as I do now with my final packets. I also remember feeling very trusted by everyone to get to do this. I felt lucky to be doing rare work. I felt especially trusted by Simone and David who were really placing a lot of responsibility in my work and gave a lot of trust to me. The inmates were writing to the BTW but they were also writing to me. I had trust from them to do justice to their story and to write it down for them.
Another big way that my work changed over the term was the reactions that I began to have when I transcribed the letters. Early on, I felt apt to try to work through my packets quickly and in that way, I didn’t pick up a lot of the stories that I wrote down. It wasn’t until I started to encounter more difficult to read pieces when I realized this. When I first had a piece with messy handwriting I put my page in front of the screen and typed word by word, in a broken sentence way. Instead of hearing the words together I was just focusing on typing individually, and really missed what I was transcribing. When I tried to remember what I was reading about, I couldn’t.
Eventually, I switched to using a method that was not only more efficient for me but also more meaningful, too. I used the speech to text function on my laptop to read aloud the letters and my computer would type for me. In this way, I really felt more connected to the words that I was reading. I felt like the person who had written on the page was almost in the room with me. I still remember the advice that I read from those letters because of the way that it felt like that advice was really for me.
My time with TBW has made me reflect more on the stories that I choose to hear and the ones that are lost on me. I learned more about the ways that I can tune into the voices of others even when it is difficult to do so. I have come to understand writing as an important outlet for not only inmates but people. In a world where personal sharing and stories aren’t always allowed or even valued, I think that writing can be a vital way to share one’s voice.
-Tavi, Urban School of San Francisco
Writing as an Outlet
As I finish the term, I continue to see the importance of personal stories and experiences to deconstruct generalizations about groups of people. Many of the pieces I read very clearly demonstrated the growth of the authors since the beginning of their incarceration.
I was incredibly shocked at the level of self-reflection and also acceptance of many of the authors. It is difficult for me to picture myself coming to terms with decades in prison, and yet many of the authors seemed to have made peace with this in an incredibly meditative way. Though I do understand that some of the writers have done very problematic and wrong things, understanding the circumstance of their actions allows me to have a lot more empathy than simply hearing the crime they were charged for.
Additionally, the way that the authors were reflective in not only the ways they went wrong, but how they will make things right and become a better person makes it clear that the authors have grown tremendously. In seeing the level of regret and change in the writing, it was frustrating to know that they may have to stay in prison for decades when it seems like they have already changed their thinking so profoundly, and are ready to begin a different stage of their life.
In terms of my role as a transcriber, I am a little more comfortable now than I was at the beginning of the term. In one of my last transcriptions, the author wrote that he wanted help with his spelling which was really nice to read because it made me feel like I was doing my part to make his message more clear. As I was concerned about my influence as a transcriber, and my position of power, knowing that the authors are happy for me to help with spelling and grammar is nice.
Having a window into the mental trauma of actually being in prison for years and years has shown me the way in which our system of prison is problematic in terms of healing people. It seems like for this one particular author, being in jail had given him significant doubt and anxiety about the people in his life, and it was very difficult to read the pain that he felt from being alone with no contact from his family.
It has made me consider whether prison is an effective method of changing individuals, and what parts are effective or problematic. It seems like writing is an effective way to deal with the loneliness of prison, and it has made me feel more and more grateful for The Beat and all it is doing. Without an outlet to otherwise express their experiences, I can see how prison would cultivate depression and other forms of degradation to the mind.
It has also made me extremely thankful for the way that I have been taught to write and express myself through writing. It is a great privilege to have the writing capability that I do, and seeing the importance of writing to these individuals has only emphasized this to me. Working with The Beat has been profound in shaping the way I see our prison system and viewing writing and expression in general. I am grateful for the opportunity to work with them.
-Ben, Urban School of San Francisco
We truly hope you appreciate the reflective writings from our young teachers. We certainly do. Their interpretations helps us have better understanding what they are getting out of the writings they are editing and transcribing for publication. Â
All right, thank you all for your continued support in this important work. Your wisdom and insights are all valued. We hope you will enjoy the following pages of this outstanding one of a kind issue of writing and art from the inside and beyond. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us if we can be of any support.
On a final note, please check out our essay winners on page 5 and our art winners on page 40! We are incredibly impressed by all who submitted their art and writing, but in particular, these finalist. Congratulations! Lastly, we will be featuring many of the essays and art in upcoming issues of The Beat Within! Thank you all for your time and patience. Enjoy the issue!