by E
I am mad at myself for not doing what’s right. I’m mad that every time I say I’m going to change, something comes up and it ends up going sideways. I am mad that I lie to myself and to my parents about leaving this lifestyle, but I don’t realize until I’m behind these walls.
I’m mad that I can’t do what’s right. I mean, I know what to do, when to do it, and how to do it, I just act like I can play the system. But let me tell you that that’s the only thing you can’t play. You can play your parents, your girlfriend, yourself, but you can never play the system. And I’m here sitting in this chair wearing orange and blue, feeling mad at myself for coming back and not doing what I was supposed to do, because every time I get out of the halls, I go do the same thing, kick it with the Gs from the block, drink, and next thing you see, I’m right back at it. So you want to keep messing up and be mad at yourself like me? I bet you don’t, so open your eyes!!