by John Vasquez
Many people believe anger is a bad thing, but it can actually be your friend. Anger is a natural human emotion just like fear, happiness or sadness. Everyone gets angry from time to time. Why? Because we’re human.
Unfortunately, people often think anger is bad because they mistakenly believe that anger and aggression are the same things, but they’re not. Anger is a feeling. Aggression is a behavior. Aggression is just one way to express anger. Hitting, assaulting or cussing someone out is an act of aggression. Anger is the feeling behind it.
Anger is a powerful emotion that can cause you to lose control if you let it. On the other hand, you can use anger as fuel to ignite the passion and drive it takes to achieve goals. For example, if you’re angry because you hate being locked up and being told what to do, then you can use your anger energy to make positive changes in your life so that you don’t come back. You can also use your anger energy to stand up for yourself when you’re treated unfairly or unjustly. Anger energy can also be used to protect yourself when you’re in danger. Anger can be used as a warning signal to let you know something is wrong and needs to be addressed.
It is also important to understand that anger is a secondary emotion. This means that other feelings precede the anger. Fear, hurt, disappointment and sadness often lie underneath the surface of anger.
So next time you’re angry, ask yourself, “what am I really feeling?” One final truth about anger is this: no one can make you angry.
At the end of the day, you are the one responsible for how you feel. No one can rent space in your head unless you let them. People can push your buttons, but how you respond is your choice. It is your perception of what someone else said or did that makes you angry, not the person’s words or actions in themselves.
The key to making anger your friend is to take ownership of it by channeling that powerful energy toward constructive activities such as accomplishing goals, standing up for yourself and others, protecting yourself and others, communicating with someone to get your needs met, journaling, exercising, and recognizing unresolved hurt and emotional turmoil.
Our ability to feel anger is a gift from the Creator. Anger can be your friend or your enemy. How you use it, is up to you.