Welcome friends! For you avid Beat readers, OT should be a recognizable name in our pages, especially if you embrace the editorial note, where he so kindly shares his truths and observations. For your information, OT has been connected to The Beat since his days as a young person inside San Mateo County Juvenile Hall aka Hillcrest, where he wrote like most of you, during our workshops. The one thing different, upon his release from the system, OT reached out and made a point to stay connected, despite the ups and downs, and that he has for nearly 20 years! We love OT and our grateful for all he gives! Once again, lets hear him out!
We would like to welcome you Beat readers to another fantastic double edition, 24.09/10, of the one and only The Beat Within. This is OT once again with the privilege to not only hear your stories and hear your lectures and lessons, but to also go ahead and give you a piece of mind. As I am writing this editorial note right now, Valentine’s Day has just passed, NBA All-Star weekend is over and by the time this issue is in your hands, there will only be about a week left of February (give or take a couple of days). Yes, time is moving folks. Before you know it, it’s St. Patrick’s Day, then Cinco De Mayo, then 4th of July, and before you know it, your Birthday all over again.
Time flies quicker than you think. With every second, with every breath gone, with every sigh, with every word spoken, time is gone just like that. You go to sleep you wake up and it’s the next day all over again. Somedays will feel monotonous for some of you guys, and I understand that. I have been in that position before, I did four years in the Federal Penitentiary System before being deported to Nicaragua, and I still kind of remember the food schedule, because it was the same food schedule.
Wednesdays we had burgers and fries (my favorite), Fish Fridays, and the weekends we’d only get two hot meals a day and just cereal and cake in the morning and Sundays were my favorite because we get pancakes with sausage. I remember me and my celly would cook our own hot sausage that we would get from the commissary to make our meal a little extra nice. So, I know there are things that will be the same for you.
But throughout your time you can’t say that every day is the same, unless you have the same conversations every day, unless you talk to the same people every day, and unless you talk about the same topics every day and you even do the same exercises every day.
Every day is a new day folks. If you choose for all your days to be the same, then that’s YOUR choice. You are the one choosing to do the same thing over, therefore your life will have you feeling like Bill Murray in the movie, “Groundhog Day.†Where you wake up the next morning and you’ll be living the same day all over again.
So that means if you’re drinking, doing drugs, gangbanging and not doing anything productive, then your time will feel just like that. Your life will feel like a time-loop that you can’t get out of, and in reality, time is ticking. You are getting older. Your family is getting older. When you come down off the high you will realize that nothing’s changed. Everything is still the same, and you want to know why? Because that was the choice you made.
For those of you who are doing time, this will sound cliché but don’t let the “time do you.†Now a lot of people will just tell you this phrase, but I will break it down for you. Don’t let the time do you. What does that mean?
That means that you can’t sit around thinking that the time will do itself. You can’t sit around and be thinking about damn, if I had turn right on this street. instead of left, I wouldn’t be here, right now. You can’t sit there and think about the variables that you thought you could control in the moment, like leaving your gun at home, or never jumping in the car with your “so-called homie or friend.â€
I mean a lot of us don’t accept reality for what it is, and that means that you can’t believe it, that you find yourself behind bars. Once you accept the reality of the situation, then time will be something you might like. Once you start making some positive recognition in your life, like admitting that you messed up. Then your time won’t feel the same. Time will become your best friend. What happens when you start reading books, writing and learning things? Your day will not be the same every day. You will see that every day, when you learn something new, and it will not feel like the same day, every day.
Let me put it to you in simple context. Take a look at an athlete. When an athlete trains, especially when he trains at his gym facility for the home team. They go to the same facility, they use the same weights, they practice their 3-point shot, their homerun swing, their curveball, I mean they do some of the same things every day but they have a different goal set every day. They maintain a strict diet, meaning they probably eat the same food all week, or different kinds, but what I’m saying is that they still show up to their job trying to accomplish different goals.
Life can get boring and time becomes insignificant when you feel like you don’t have a greater purpose in life. So, what is time, and how valuable is time for you? Ask yourself, “what goals do I have for myself?†This could mean both short term and long term.
Because like many of us say, time is money and money is time. Do they hold the same value? Because you can lose money and recuperate it. You spend $300 and get it back on your pay day, or for all you big money hustlers that are ballers might say “money ain’t shhh.†“I make that in day.†“I’ll get that back.â€
Well, guess what? No matter how much more money you have than me, or me more than you, we can never buy time back. That’s the one thing in this life that everybody gets the same countdown. Granted, for many of us, our time is shorter than longer. Some of you may live to be 100 years old and I hope everyone does. Some of you may not, and that’s just the reality of life. So, ask yourself what do you want to do with your time here?
Time. What do you want to do with your time? What do you want to do with your life is essentially the real question? You can have a job and still go to school. You can be in prison and still go to school. You can be in prison and still get an education. It’s all up to you. What do you want to do with your life/time?
When you have no goals, every day will feel the same. Trust me I’ve been there. I’ve had days, weeks, months and even years feel the same every day even when I was in the free world. When I was young, I was doing the same thing every day. Selling drugs, gangbanging, hitting licks, homies were dying. Even though I had goals, I had all of the wrong goals in mind. That might be happening to some of you. You may be trying to reach the wrong goals. You are trying to get rich over-night, but you don’t want to put the time and effort by going to school or getting a business degree and starting up a legit hustle.
See by human nature, we all are looking for the easy way out. That’s life. That’s time I guess. But soon enough you will all learn just like I did, that there is no easy way in life. You have to work hard. For you gangsters and drug dealers, the want to reach the heights of El Chapo, you know where that’s going to get you? I hate to burst your bubble, but you ain’t never gonna get there. I’m just letting you know, in case someone hasn’t told you yet.
There’s a much higher chance of you becoming a lawyer, or firefighter, or doctor, or website creator, or graphics design artist, or even a social worker. A lot of you have a real knack for helping people, and maybe that is your gift in life and something you love to do. Doesn’t it sound easier to go to school or go to a job where you don’t have to lose your freedom? That’s what you were placed in this life to do. Doesn’t it sound easier to work as a plumber or computer programmer to make your money, so that your life is never at risk from violence or incarceration? Sometimes, we not only have to reevaluate ourselves, but also our goals.
So, ask yourself, “am I letting time do me, or am I doing the time.†Or in reality is it, are you letting life pass you by, or are you living your life to its fullest potential, to YOUR fullest potential? There’s only one-way to find out and guess what? Only YOU can answer that question…no one else!
One love to everybody locked down or going through some type of struggle! And The Beat keeps going and going…