Dear Beat Readers

by Antone Presley 

My name is Antone Presley. I am a 25-year-old convicted felon for attempted murder. I’ve been incarcerated for three years now and time is moving extremely fast. 

In early October, 2015 I committed a truculent act, trying to bring harm to a rival gang. Two weeks prior to my senseless crime, one of my friends was shot and killed at the age of sixteen. He was shot twelve times, in the face, which is an overkill. 

When I got the call, about ten minutes after his death, all I could think about is revenge. I wanted the people that was responsible for his death to hurt. I wanted them to feel what I felt and that was pain. Without much thinking, I just acted upon my feelings. 

Nothing went how I wanted it to go. Everything you can think of went wrong. One person was shot and that was me. I also was arrested to answer for the decision I’ve just made, which changed my life drastically. 

Crazy part about my story is, I was just released from prison about three weeks before this took place. My egotistic thinking led me to be shot and arrested, facing multiple life sentences. 

I was out all of forty days before coming right back to jail. I didn’t think about the outcome. I didn’t think about my family and how they would feel. I just acted. I didn’t think about the promises I made my family, telling them I would always take care of them. I would always be there and never leave them again. 

As you can see I didn’t stand firm on my words. I broke my promises. I was very much guilty of the crime I committed so I took a plea deal of twenty-eight years with 85 percent. Being sent back to prison, with a life span of time to do made me think about life and the ones I let down. I let my family down, now they have to fend for themselves. 

My son is now growing up without his father. His mother went from  just being a mother to a full-time protector and provider, mother and father if you will. It is very hard to please her. Anything I say just gets disregarded by my son’s mother. A woman that had so much confidence in me, doesn’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth. 

After all of the promises that I’ve broken, I truly understand now. I made a commitment for a positive change in my life, just trying to better myself. I’ve checked in college to further my education. When I told her she just waived it off. Even though I’m applying myself to the fullness thereof, she is just nonchalant about my progress. She is hurt. I know hurt people. 

I caused a lot of the pain she feels. Although it would feel great to be acknowledged for my self-improvement, I know the damage I’ve done to my family. I love my family tremendously. I can’t give up on them. When I get my quiz scores back from the Coastline College, I just sent them to my son’s mom. I just want to show her that I am putting my best foot forward. I believe I’m strong enough to change my circumstance and not allow my circumstance to change me. I would continue to work hard every day to win back my son’s mom’s trust. 

What I want you readers to know is don’t wait until the last minute to do your best. Apply yourself at all times. If someone has trust and confidence in you, hold that dear to your heart. Trust is earned throughout the years and can be lost in the matter of minutes. It is extremely hard to gain and very easy to lose. Which choices you going to make, the decision is on you.