by Noel Rodriguez
My names’ Noel Joe Rodriguez and I’m writing this piece and message to you straight from the penitentiary at Calipatria State Prison, where I am currently serving a sixty to life sentence for two murders. Not something to say or be proud of.
I don’t even know how to begin or whether I am even worthy of expressing and sharing my past and thoughts with you all. But I write this message with the hope that what I share will help at least one of you to find a better path in life.
At this point in your life you might be having a stubborn way of thinking, causing you to not want to accept or help or advice from anyone. I will begin with a brief history of who I was to who I am now.
I grew up in a kind a normal home in the ghetto, but not so normal, that I experienced domestic violence. My father was abusing my mother, as well as his own children. He would bully us all and my mother didn’t have the courage to save us from him.
I grew up resenting and hating my parents for that. My parents immigrated to this country when I was four years old. We suffered racist discrimination, and I was physically and psychologically abused by other kids because of my immigrant status and lack of American culture and language.
Because of that, I developed resentment and hatred towards my parents for bringing me to this country. We lived homeless, like nomads, for nine years. Moving from house to house, city to city, school to school. I lived in twelve different homes and attended six different schools.
The worst part is we had to live in some other family’s home ninety percent of those years. I never was able to call a place my home and couldn’t develop social and emotional skills. I developed antisocial behaviors such as fighting, substance abuse, and ultimately committing murders and now I am here sharing these past experiences with you all.
I’m not good at giving great motivational speeches, but I want to at least give it a shot and hope that you can find something within these words to help you realize that you don’t have to allow yourself to go down that dark path of life.
When I was a young kid I carried and suppressed all my fears, anger, pain, sadness, and I allowed that to evolve and become a time bomb, which eventually exploded into physical violence and murders. You don’t have to allow that to control your life. That is pure negative energy that will lead you to a life of chaos, destruction, death, or imprisonment. You need professional help you get above and beyond that darkness you’re in.